The Wake

I was in bed by 10:00 PM but I couldn't sleep.  I should have known better.  Sleep doesn't come to me too easily these days; especially when there is an important event about to occur in my life.  Sometimes it is my dreams that cause me restlessness, other times it is the mere thought of nearly everything else.  I sometimes take a natural sleep aid to get a good 8 hours or more, but that does not happen too often.  I can't stop thinking about the day.  You see, I went to the wake of my dear friend's son this evening.  I listened to my music in the car all the way there but I honestly did not hear any of the songs. I arrived at the funeral home and noticed that my breathing become shallow as I parked my car.  I did not know what to expect as I walked towards the entrance.  I immediately spotted a woman from the VA hospital where I once worked walking towards the same door I was entering and we smiled at each other, spoke greetings and hugged.  Once inside, she spoke to her daughter who accompanied her and stated that she needed to first visit the restroom.  That was not odd to me because I had to do the same.  Besides, I needed a little more time to pray.  The hall was crowded with people.  Some were standing around in groups talking, some were sitting in sofas.  All were trying to be strong.  I wondered what many of them, including myself,  would have given to not be gathered for such a sad and solemn occasion. No one wanted to be at a wake but everyone believed in paying their respect to the departed and showing their sincere love and support to the family. I greeted some of the people from the hospital that I used to work with and then I entered the processional that was lined up nearly to the rear of the room.  The mother of the young man was seated at the foot of the casket in which her son lay. "She had been here since it began at 1:00 pm", a young woman said.  A girlfriend of hers from work had made it her duty to routinely take her a soft drink at specific periods of the evening.  The mother, my dear friend, had a serene look about her.  She looked at you but looked through you.  She greeted each well-wisher with a smile and a hug.  She was strength enough for all of us who came to see her baby.  And he looked so good.  He looked as if he were merely sleeping and could awaken at any moment.  I hugged the young man's step-father at the head of the casket and we shared a moment that was cordial, but painful, at the same time.  "Remember, "Farther Along " at the service tomorrow", he said.  "I have everything ready", I smiled, and left his side.  At this very moment my chest hurts.  Actually there is a heaviness inside of it.  I want to cry but I am afraid I won't be able to stop myself.  I will sing for their son tomorrow.  I will sing and imagine the gates of Heaven opening up to usher him in; this young man, this poor young man who knew too much pain too soon in his life.  
"And may the peace of God which passes all understanding keep your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus".
I'm going to try to get some sleep now. If not, there is always tomorrow night.
Love your family now. God bless.
Dennis