On A Hot Tuesday Morning

 I'm feeling quite pensive this morning; almost on edge.  I think it has something to do with my dreams from last night.  Sometimes my days are so nice, so serene. Other days are like this one.  I wonder if I will ever be able to escape my memories of the war.  I do my best not to have those thoughts in my mind when I go to sleep, but it is a memory I cannot control.  When I have these dreams I am right there all over again.  I can see it, smell it, hear it. My sweat is real and the soldiers I interact with are real.  And always I am so thankful when I awaken to find myself in my own bed.  I know there is a name for my condition, PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I used to hide from it, deny it in my life, but I learned years ago that the best way to deal with it is to confront it.  I know of several soldiers who refused to accept the diagnosis of PTSD in their life when all of the signs were there.  I watched a program the other day that said there are more soldiers who are returning from these recent wars  and becoming homeless and are unable to make the transition to civillian life than from any previous war.  Whoever said "War is hell" must have been a soldier at one time in his life.  This is not the first nor the last time I will speak of this.  Because they do not clearly understand PTSD, the general public often makes Veterans feel different, alone, ashamed, or useless.  When I worked at the VA hospital I took it upon myself to become an advocate for Veterans with PTSD.  I was blessed to be placed in positions that enabled me to talk to the Veteran and to provide information to them concerning their malady.  Why did I do this? Because someone did it for me and I remain eternally grateful.  No one truly knows what it feels like to fall down the rabbit hole; to feel as if you are losing your mind, until you face a traumatic experience that causes you to go there.  It doesn't have to be the experience of war.  It can be the loss of a loved one.  It can be the onset of an incurable disease.  It can be a bankruptcy or some huge financial loss.  And here is where the Word comes to life:
 "Two are better than one....for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falls; for he has no one to help him up".  Ecclesiastes 4:9 & 10.   

 I have also learned that there are people who are sent from God to be there for me whenever I begin to feel detached or moody or overly vigilant. They never criticize me, but instead are warm, loving, and nonjudgemental.  I cannot express how much I love them.  Do I feel shame in talking about this? Of course not. I am but a man who is trying to make it through life and I cannot successfully accomplish that if I live a life of fear and shame.  Where I am insufficient as a person, God is sufficient.  When I fall short it is He who helps me to become complete.  I pray that I will always be sensitive to His Spirit.
Have a good day and be safe in all you do.
Dennis