On The Edge Of The New Year

  This is possibly the hardest blog I have ever written. I have some family who dislike the fact that I blog and they are sometimes bothered at how transparent and open my writings sometimes can be. It's sort of like when the celebrity, Bill Cosby, took a change from comedy and began to speak of the terrible plight of the Black Family in America. Although he was accurate in his admonishments and criticisms, many African Americans chided Mr. Cosby "for airing blacks folk's dirty laundry".  I thought it was sad that people would want to censor his words of truth simply because it embarrassed them. I admit that I almost stopped blogging because of the feelings of others, but then I was reminded that I was always this way; outspoken and unashamed in every vocation I had ever undertaken. 

  Perhaps it began with the position I maintained in my family of origin. I was the 6th born out of seven children; the knee-baby, as some would call it.  I was a small child and my existence was overshadowed by three other siblings, the twins who came before me and my sister who came after me. I had no doubt my parents loved me just as equally but this fact did not preclude me from striving to be the best in everything I undertook. Whether it was singing, dancing, academics, art; I gave it my all.  
  Many years later while stationed in Germany I became an ordained minister. I suffered ridicule concerning my "unorthodox" ways when I was the pastor of my first Baptist church in a small town in Oklahoma.  Several surrounding church pastors spoke their disdain at my not being the type of Baptist preacher they were accustomed to. They were right. I was not a Baptist preacher, nor Methodist nor Church of God in Christ for that matter. I just wanted people to be free and receive every good thing God had for them. It mattered not what color you were, how much money you made, (or didn't make), I merely wanted people to openly show genuine love for each other.  My zeal for God was unmoved by the opinion of others; even some of the members in my own congregation. I recall a time when the city had a rash of young people being killed due to drug activity. We were in church one Sunday and the night before there had been another young man killed in our streets. As I stood at the pulpit before the sermon was to be preached my heart was moved in a most awesome way. I then said to the church that I was tired of the killings and how we were called to do more than cower in the safety of our buildings. With that being said, I asked those who were strong enough to be with me to follow me.  I walked down from the pulpit, out of the church, and led my congregation, singing, around the corner to an area known for prostitution and drinking and drugs. We formed a circle in the street between two of the "clubs" and I preached an uncripted sermon from the center. We later left that area and returned to the church still singing and praising God, and in our midst were two women, both who were prostitutes and drug addicts, that had left that area with us and were crying and praising God for bringing them the message of salvation and saving their souls.  I was later criticized by the other ministers for not getting a permit from the city to hold services outdoors. However; the local police were grateful for our efforts.  I learned a long time ago that it is better to obey God than man.
  As an Army sergeant I was also motivated to excel beyond the norm. I loved perfection and I sought to teach my soldiers to be the same. It was not "normal" for a senior NCO to love, defend and care for his troops as much as I did. I believed in a soldier working a grade level above what was pinned on his collar. I enjoyed watching my young soldiers stand toe-to-toe with other soldiers of higher rank and always winning.  My troops were not like a family to me; they were my family. Never had I ever associated with a group of men who loved and looked out for one another with such sincerity and courage. While stationed in Germany a second time I and my soldiers were called up to war. We survived Desert Storm; physically at least. I always hoped that my soldiers fared better after the war than I did.
  Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. We stand on the horizon ready to see the new year unfold. No one truly knows who will see the end of 2012.  As for me, I am not afraid to live or die.  I believe the Apostle Paul when he said "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21).  Unlike some, I am thankful for the medium of Facebook. It has placed me in touch with so many friends, old and new.  They have shared in my happiest moments and have been a comfort to me in my times of despair, loneliness and pain.  My heart was grievously broken the other day and my Facebook friends were there for me with their prayers and sincere concern. I truly do love you all.  I do not know what the future holds but I do know who holds the future.  May God keep each and every one of you up to the New Year and beyond. Please be safe.
Dennis    

Thoughts Close To Christmas

  Today has been a good day. For the first time in a long while I truly felt retired this morning and very much alive and attuned to everything around me.  No doubt it has something to do with the time of season; Christmas.  Earlier this morning I reflected back on my younger life; a time when I was so ignorant as to what Christmas was truly about. I spent more than I could afford to spend buying expensive and excessive gifts for myself and my then spouse. I am in such a different frame of mind in my elder years as I still believe in gift-giving, but not in the excessive, hollow manner in which I used to do. Largely it's because I have truly been living the old adage, "Every day is Christmas". This year I have been given the gift of friends; true friends. Some of them I have been associating with for many years. Others I have recently reconnected with via the social network. I have some of the best friends ever!

  I talked with a friend from my pre-military days, Colon, this morning. It has been years since we communicated and we spoke for an hour on the phone. Perhaps longer. My dear friend, Marlyce has been heavy on my mind for quite some time. Some of you may remember that she and her husband had lost two children in a span of months this year. (I wrote "Autumn leaves" on 8/15/11 in honor of her daughter and friend, Autumn). Many of us have experienced loss of family and thereby can testify that the pain never truly dissipates but only lies dormant within us until triggered by an occasion, a smell, a memory or deafening silence. I pray my heart to tears for my friends who have lost loved ones.

  My brother, Alfred had a successful throat surgery a week ago. My other siblings; Junior, Victor, Vernon, Joyce and Cynthia are all blessed to breathe air today.

  I love so many people today. I have my health, my family, (both family of origin and extended family), I have food, clothing, shelter, a son who never tires of hugging me and telling me that he loves me. Although I lie down each night knowing that I have no ill will towards anyone it still wounds me when I am grieveously attacked; especially by those who claim to love me. I pray to have a heart of forgiveness.
  Have a very Merry Christmas and try not to get lost in the fanfare.
  I love you all.
  Dennis

With A Cup Of Coffee And Peace

 I bought a new mattress the other day and I can easily say that it has helped me to sleep better than I have in a very long time. I still dream, but I have not woken up at 2:00 AM and not been able to succumb to slumber again. David came into my room and gave me a hug before getting on his school bus. Later, I heard the wife pull out of the garage on her way to work. I lay in bed for another half hour contemplating the days gone by as well as the day ahead. Later I got up and brewed some coffee. I drank from my "Retired" Army mug as I perused my Facebook friends on the computer. I am happy that so many are doing well, but my heart goes out to my Army buddy, Don, who has an ill Uncle. Don is hurting because of this and it makes my heart ache, as well.

I read the 10th chapter of Matthew in my Bible at the breakfast table. I will forever be amazed at the words and instructions of Jesus. So many ministries have gotten away from the simplicity of the Gospel which is to love your neighbor as yourself. I must confess that I have been somewhat despondent  because I have been dealing with situations involving people who like to use others and my own giving until it hurts; only to end up feeling used and unappreciated in the things I do. It's happened before and I always say "no more", but I break my own rules. Reading my Word was comforting because I  became invigorated knowing that God will provide for me even when I do not know where that provision will come from.
 All that we possess will one day be burned away or rotted. The true thing that remains is love. I do not want to miss that lesson...ever.
Have a great day.
Dennis

Early Tuesday Morning

 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

  I've been immersed in deep thought these past few weeks. (Some battles are fought more effectively within). I have discovered that it is not in my nature to feel at ease when everything is going well for me. I am often kept awake by thoughts of so many friends and family whom I wish I could do more to help them through their situations. Yes, I realize that it what prayer is for but that doesn't keep me from still wanting to do my part. It is easy for a person to develop an attitude of "me first" and to think of no more than storing up treasures, (money, material possessions), for themselves only and to let the rest of the world fend for themselves. It is easy to see how evil desires can sprout in one's life in such a subtle manner and before you realize it you are consumed with greed, avarice, and vanity.
  It's almost December, and before we know it a new year will be upon us. Which of us will see the end of 2012? How many loved ones will we bid farewell to that we are now able to hold, love, and cherish. Personally, I have been challenged to prove that I can be a good man. This challenge does not come from my wife, siblings, or any other association; but from spiritual wicknedness in high places. Therefore I find it necessary to cover myself in prayer and to be watchful in all I say and do. These are not actions of a man who is suffering from some sort of paranoia, but from a desire to be good in the sight of his God.  And if I can achieve this status, all other things will fall into place.  I could elaborate more but I won't at this time.
Love your neighbor, but watch out for your own soul.
I love you all.
Dennis

Just A Few Thoughts

  I started to write a blog about all of the recent deaths which have been occurring on our watch lately, but as I perused through the Facebook pages of many of my friend's I was clearly aware that nearly everyone was up on what I intended to write about. And that is good for I am also certain that many of you are seeing what I am seeing; the actual end of an era. 

  For some of us, our children are seeing the resurgence in music, clothes, and even phrases which are in no way new to us but you can't convince them that you already did that back in the day.  For certain, there is nothing new under the sun.

  Today I am very watchful and pensive. I am watching our "acquaintances" who were actors, singers, boxing champions, rappers, cartoonists, computer geniuses, commentators and more leave our presence at an alarmingly fast rate.  We need to be sure to love one another with a real love and cherish the beauty of relationships.
I hope your day is great.
Dennis

Staying Above The Gutter

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men".  Matthew 5:18

 We were at a restaurant the other night and my wife had ordered one of her favorite dishes. A little into her meal she decided to season her dish with the salt that was provided on the table. Unfortunately, it was sea salt. She used the salt anyway but after several shakes she could not get the desired taste for her dish. Finally I flagged down the waiter and asked if they had regular table salt. He promptly returned with a small bowl of the coveted granules in which my wife used straightaway and was immediately satisfied. "Now that's salt", she exclaimed.
 It's like that in our everyday lives. We are continually surrounded by rude, insensitive, and obnoxious people. Even as we attempt to be the best person we can possibly be these individuals are consistently evil and seemingly unlovable.  It is so easy to give in to the inclination to render the same brashness to them that they deliver to you but that is exactly what we are not to do. These people are hurting and are products of something that went very badly in their lives that we may never know about. They need to be rescued from their misery and we have the heart to pull them out of the fire.   We do not do this by accepting their unwarranted behavior, but we win them by keeping ourselves on the straight and narrow and not submitting to the thought of hopelessness.
 Just as my wife could not be satisfied with the salt substitute on the restaurant table, we cannot be content in being the "packaged Christian" that the world is promoting. You know what I mean; the type who prays on Sunday and curses people out on Monday. We must be authentic in all we do.
 I ask that you seek out such a person in your life today who is hurting and lonely and unhappy. Bless them with an unexpected gift, give them a compliment that they are not expecting to receive, (I'm certain there is something good about them that you can find). Let your light shine so that others will see God through you.
 Have a great and productive day and try to make a difference in the world around you.
 Dennis

Taking Your Life Back

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched... but are felt in the heart.

Helen Keller

 I spent a great amount of time last night thinking about friends and family. That's not unusual for me to do but last night was exceptional.  The thoughts followed me into my very dreams and were still with me as I awoke this morning.  I talk to a good amount of people throughout the week; either via phone, text, or email.  I listen intently to every conversation I am involved in and afterwards I actually meditate on the substance of what was said from the different interactions I have had.  All in all, I recognize a constant theme in what I am hearing from several different people, in different locations, in different situations, and in different time zones concerning their lives; there is an evident attack on the institution called Family.  The "enemy", be it spiritual or fleshly, is not concerned at what tender age your child may be, how long you have been in a relationship with someone, or if you have already suffered one or more devastating events in your life; the intent is to destroy all hopes of you ever truly experiencing happiness and fulfillment in this lifetime.  The lie being spoken is that "No one is truly happy so you shouldn't expect to live that fantasy".  The truth is that there are an abundance of happy people all around us.  I interact with them everyday in some way or another. These are people who have learned what the true meaning of "friendship" is.  These are those who do not measure their success by the material possessions they acquire or the company they keep.  These are they who have sincerely learned to live in this world uncontrolled by so much of the degradation and prejudice and malice and hatred it tends to foster.  

 I am still dismayed at the inability so many people have to do something as simple as to forgive themselves.  "He who is without sin let him throw the first stone", said Jesus.  Yes, I admit there are many people out there throwing a heck of a lot of stones, (you would think they own a rock quarry).  But they are hypocrites and they are not to be paid attention to except as examples of what not to be like and if you are wise you would distance yourself from them immediately. The truth is that some people spend so much of their time re-living their past mistakes, beating themselves up over and over again for that "unbelievable thing" that they did. Eventually they actually believe that God will not, and could not, forgive them either.  But we are so much weaker than God.  I have learned that if no one else will forgive me, I must forgive myself in order to believe in my heart that God actually has forgiven me.

We have so much good to experience and do in such a short life.  Some of us will be given many years to do our tasks, some only a short time. Being cognizant of this, with every new morning I encourage myself to see each day as extraordinary; taking no encounter for granted; regardless as to how small it may seem.  I do not profess to know what principles were ingrained into your spirit as you grew, (and as some are still growing); however, I will be as bold as to say that the very principles which brought you into the light of right doing, compassion and love are still available and are still just as valid as back then.  Instill these principles in your children, your marriages, your relationships and on your jobs.  Love more than only the people who look like you look, talk as you do, and hang out in the same corners you hang out in.  And above all remember, Love is not weak.

 Have a great day.

Dennis