Thoughts Close To Christmas

  Today has been a good day. For the first time in a long while I truly felt retired this morning and very much alive and attuned to everything around me.  No doubt it has something to do with the time of season; Christmas.  Earlier this morning I reflected back on my younger life; a time when I was so ignorant as to what Christmas was truly about. I spent more than I could afford to spend buying expensive and excessive gifts for myself and my then spouse. I am in such a different frame of mind in my elder years as I still believe in gift-giving, but not in the excessive, hollow manner in which I used to do. Largely it's because I have truly been living the old adage, "Every day is Christmas". This year I have been given the gift of friends; true friends. Some of them I have been associating with for many years. Others I have recently reconnected with via the social network. I have some of the best friends ever!

  I talked with a friend from my pre-military days, Colon, this morning. It has been years since we communicated and we spoke for an hour on the phone. Perhaps longer. My dear friend, Marlyce has been heavy on my mind for quite some time. Some of you may remember that she and her husband had lost two children in a span of months this year. (I wrote "Autumn leaves" on 8/15/11 in honor of her daughter and friend, Autumn). Many of us have experienced loss of family and thereby can testify that the pain never truly dissipates but only lies dormant within us until triggered by an occasion, a smell, a memory or deafening silence. I pray my heart to tears for my friends who have lost loved ones.

  My brother, Alfred had a successful throat surgery a week ago. My other siblings; Junior, Victor, Vernon, Joyce and Cynthia are all blessed to breathe air today.

  I love so many people today. I have my health, my family, (both family of origin and extended family), I have food, clothing, shelter, a son who never tires of hugging me and telling me that he loves me. Although I lie down each night knowing that I have no ill will towards anyone it still wounds me when I am grieveously attacked; especially by those who claim to love me. I pray to have a heart of forgiveness.
  Have a very Merry Christmas and try not to get lost in the fanfare.
  I love you all.
  Dennis