"His name was Martin Luther King. He died so all men could be free".
Victor Spain
I sat in my room watching a documentary about Martin Luther King, Jr. on television this afternoon. It was hosted by Tom Brokaw and a litany of people, both celebrity and common folk, who had interacted with MLK at some time or another either by personal contact or by proxy. As often as I have viewed documentaries about King I am still appalled at the footage of beatings at sit-ins, water hoses being turned on blacks, dogs mauling black men and women, open Klan activity and racist city officials. I do not hate any race of people for I know that ignorance played a large part of the shameful actions of many people back then; however I do hate the racial ignorance which continues to permeate in this day and age.
I often recant as to how I truly did not know racism until I joined the military. I grew up as an "Army brat" whose friends were the color of a rainbow. When I joined the Army I experienced how men would judge you because of your color. I recall how in 1995 I was stationed in Alaska and held the job as the brigade signal (communications) chief. After I had been there for some time we received a new Signal officer who was white and from Seattle, Washington. He had a bad habit of referring to white people as "thinkers" and black people as "workers". He would use profanity in the presence of my female soldiers and they came to me to report their disdain concerning this. When I privately approached him concerning his profanity and his labeling of people, he smiled and said "I couldn't understand what you are feeling even if I put black shoe polish on my face". And then he laughed.
I reported this conversation to the higher chain of command and they responded as they felt was necessary. They relieved me of my duties as the Battalion Signal Chief and left the racist captain in his position. I knew that it was time to leave the military.
Over the years, in spite of having witnessed several blatant racist acts, I have held on to the belief that not all white people are as evil as some I have encountered during my lifetime. I am proud to say that I love all people; even though I may deplore the acts they commit, both black and white. I am not so naive as to believe that only those who look as I do have my best interest at heart for we are all just people.
I do ask that on this special day we all will look a little deeper under our skin and discover that we are all in this together.
I love you all.
Dennis
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
-Philippians 4:12
I was up early again today. It's sometimes good for me not to sleep in because even though I do not always have a set schedule, I can easily find the time to do things around town or around the house. I bought a new yard tool on Sunday that is for pulling weeds and crab grass. I used it in the front yard for nearly an hour yesterday and it works great. There is still much more to do, but I am looking forward to it. I love a work in progress. It's probably how God feels about observing us. I had subconsciously planned to "take the day off" and watch some movies in my theater room. but the sky is very overcast and rain is highly anticipated sometime today, so I re-filled the bird feeder and replenished the hummingbird nectar near the pool. The scripture is true as it states "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 6:26.
I was reminded as to how impoverished I was as a child. I often recall, (especially in the years following my mother's death), how little we had to eat or how little clothing we had to wear. I remember having only two pair of underwear and while I wore one clean pair I had to hand wash the second pair and hang them inside on a door to dry while I was at school. And if I happened to forget to wash them the previous night I had to wash them in the morning and then hang them on a hanger in front of the oven so they would be dry enough to wear to school. Sometimes they would get a little scorched, but what the heck, at least they were clean. I had to do the same with my socks. My siblings and I continued in this process for several years until it was no longer considered a hardship, but instead, the norm. Sometimes I purposely reflect on those barren times and it makes me all the more thankful when I consider where God has brought me from. I will never forget those times.
It's easy to look at someone today who is suffering as I did and want to bring them out of their despair. It is also easy to formulate the opinion that everyone is seeking their pie in the sky, just as I was. Life has shown me that this is far from the truth. Jesus said "The poor you will have with you always but you will not always have me." (Matthew 26:11). He spoke these words in regards to his upcoming death, but that we can continue to show our love for Him by caring for the poor. But there are some who are not poor by life's circumstances, but rather, by choice. There was a time in my life that I was a very bad steward of money. I did not consider the monthly obligations that I had incurred and often I would overindulge in things that I did not need or merely wanted; all the while knowing that I had priorities to satisfy. My bad stewardship led to borrowing from others on a regular basis, getting trapped in the "advanced check cashing" cycle, bank overdrafts and stiff penalties, and the discontinuation of electrical, water, telephone services and even eviction notices. I vowed that something had to change and by God's grace I was able to focus on what type of life the Lord desired me to live.
I sit here alone at my kitchenette table with a cup of coffee, watching the rain now pouring down through the windows. I am a man of few friends, (I used to believe that it was because I was so difficult to get along with, but it is also largely because I don't appreciate my life becoming so dis-organized by others that I begin to feel powerless), and the friends I do have are mostly via email or an occasional telephone call. Don't get me wrong; I love people, I just don't enjoy being around them too much. For me, its easier to accept the idiosyncrasies of others that way. I suppose we all have our own method of dealing with things.
I'm going to go and enjoy the day. I pray that you will be able to do the same.
Take care.
Dennis
This is possibly the hardest blog I have ever written. I have some family who dislike the fact that I blog and they are sometimes bothered at how transparent and open my writings sometimes can be. It's sort of like when the celebrity, Bill Cosby, took a change from comedy and began to speak of the terrible plight of the Black Family in America. Although he was accurate in his admonishments and criticisms, many African Americans chided Mr. Cosby "for airing blacks folk's dirty laundry". I thought it was sad that people would want to censor his words of truth simply because it embarrassed them. I admit that I almost stopped blogging because of the feelings of others, but then I was reminded that I was always this way; outspoken and unashamed in every vocation I had ever undertaken.
Perhaps it began with the position I maintained in my family of origin. I was the 6th born out of seven children; the knee-baby, as some would call it. I was a small child and my existence was overshadowed by three other siblings, the twins who came before me and my sister who came after me. I had no doubt my parents loved me just as equally but this fact did not preclude me from striving to be the best in everything I undertook. Whether it was singing, dancing, academics, art; I gave it my all.
Many years later while stationed in Germany I became an ordained minister. I suffered ridicule concerning my "unorthodox" ways when I was the pastor of my first Baptist church in a small town in Oklahoma. Several surrounding church pastors spoke their disdain at my not being the type of Baptist preacher they were accustomed to. They were right. I was not a Baptist preacher, nor Methodist nor Church of God in Christ for that matter. I just wanted people to be free and receive every good thing God had for them. It mattered not what color you were, how much money you made, (or didn't make), I merely wanted people to openly show genuine love for each other. My zeal for God was unmoved by the opinion of others; even some of the members in my own congregation. I recall a time when the city had a rash of young people being killed due to drug activity. We were in church one Sunday and the night before there had been another young man killed in our streets. As I stood at the pulpit before the sermon was to be preached my heart was moved in a most awesome way. I then said to the church that I was tired of the killings and how we were called to do more than cower in the safety of our buildings. With that being said, I asked those who were strong enough to be with me to follow me. I walked down from the pulpit, out of the church, and led my congregation, singing, around the corner to an area known for prostitution and drinking and drugs. We formed a circle in the street between two of the "clubs" and I preached an uncripted sermon from the center. We later left that area and returned to the church still singing and praising God, and in our midst were two women, both who were prostitutes and drug addicts, that had left that area with us and were crying and praising God for bringing them the message of salvation and saving their souls. I was later criticized by the other ministers for not getting a permit from the city to hold services outdoors. However; the local police were grateful for our efforts. I learned a long time ago that it is better to obey God than man.
As an Army sergeant I was also motivated to excel beyond the norm. I loved perfection and I sought to teach my soldiers to be the same. It was not "normal" for a senior NCO to love, defend and care for his troops as much as I did. I believed in a soldier working a grade level above what was pinned on his collar. I enjoyed watching my young soldiers stand toe-to-toe with other soldiers of higher rank and always winning. My troops were not like a family to me; they were my family. Never had I ever associated with a group of men who loved and looked out for one another with such sincerity and courage. While stationed in Germany a second time I and my soldiers were called up to war. We survived Desert Storm; physically at least. I always hoped that my soldiers fared better after the war than I did.
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. We stand on the horizon ready to see the new year unfold. No one truly knows who will see the end of 2012. As for me, I am not afraid to live or die. I believe the Apostle Paul when he said "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21). Unlike some, I am thankful for the medium of Facebook. It has placed me in touch with so many friends, old and new. They have shared in my happiest moments and have been a comfort to me in my times of despair, loneliness and pain. My heart was grievously broken the other day and my Facebook friends were there for me with their prayers and sincere concern. I truly do love you all. I do not know what the future holds but I do know who holds the future. May God keep each and every one of you up to the New Year and beyond. Please be safe.
Dennis
Today has been a good day. For the first time in a long while I truly felt retired this morning and very much alive and attuned to everything around me. No doubt it has something to do with the time of season; Christmas. Earlier this morning I reflected back on my younger life; a time when I was so ignorant as to what Christmas was truly about. I spent more than I could afford to spend buying expensive and excessive gifts for myself and my then spouse. I am in such a different frame of mind in my elder years as I still believe in gift-giving, but not in the excessive, hollow manner in which I used to do. Largely it's because I have truly been living the old adage, "Every day is Christmas". This year I have been given the gift of friends; true friends. Some of them I have been associating with for many years. Others I have recently reconnected with via the social network. I have some of the best friends ever!
I talked with a friend from my pre-military days, Colon, this morning. It has been years since we communicated and we spoke for an hour on the phone. Perhaps longer. My dear friend, Marlyce has been heavy on my mind for quite some time. Some of you may remember that she and her husband had lost two children in a span of months this year. (I wrote "Autumn leaves" on 8/15/11 in honor of her daughter and friend, Autumn). Many of us have experienced loss of family and thereby can testify that the pain never truly dissipates but only lies dormant within us until triggered by an occasion, a smell, a memory or deafening silence. I pray my heart to tears for my friends who have lost loved ones.
My brother, Alfred had a successful throat surgery a week ago. My other siblings; Junior, Victor, Vernon, Joyce and Cynthia are all blessed to breathe air today.
I love so many people today. I have my health, my family, (both family of origin and extended family), I have food, clothing, shelter, a son who never tires of hugging me and telling me that he loves me. Although I lie down each night knowing that I have no ill will towards anyone it still wounds me when I am grieveously attacked; especially by those who claim to love me. I pray to have a heart of forgiveness.
Have a very Merry Christmas and try not to get lost in the fanfare.
I love you all.
Dennis
I bought a new mattress the other day and I can easily say that it has helped me to sleep better than I have in a very long time. I still dream, but I have not woken up at 2:00 AM and not been able to succumb to slumber again. David came into my room and gave me a hug before getting on his school bus. Later, I heard the wife pull out of the garage on her way to work. I lay in bed for another half hour contemplating the days gone by as well as the day ahead. Later I got up and brewed some coffee. I drank from my "Retired" Army mug as I perused my Facebook friends on the computer. I am happy that so many are doing well, but my heart goes out to my Army buddy, Don, who has an ill Uncle. Don is hurting because of this and it makes my heart ache, as well.
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8
I've been immersed in deep thought these past few weeks. (Some battles are fought more effectively within). I have discovered that it is not in my nature to feel at ease when everything is going well for me. I am often kept awake by thoughts of so many friends and family whom I wish I could do more to help them through their situations. Yes, I realize that it what prayer is for but that doesn't keep me from still wanting to do my part. It is easy for a person to develop an attitude of "me first" and to think of no more than storing up treasures, (money, material possessions), for themselves only and to let the rest of the world fend for themselves. It is easy to see how evil desires can sprout in one's life in such a subtle manner and before you realize it you are consumed with greed, avarice, and vanity.
It's almost December, and before we know it a new year will be upon us. Which of us will see the end of 2012? How many loved ones will we bid farewell to that we are now able to hold, love, and cherish. Personally, I have been challenged to prove that I can be a good man. This challenge does not come from my wife, siblings, or any other association; but from spiritual wicknedness in high places. Therefore I find it necessary to cover myself in prayer and to be watchful in all I say and do. These are not actions of a man who is suffering from some sort of paranoia, but from a desire to be good in the sight of his God. And if I can achieve this status, all other things will fall into place. I could elaborate more but I won't at this time.
Love your neighbor, but watch out for your own soul.
I love you all.
Dennis
I started to write a blog about all of the recent deaths which have been occurring on our watch lately, but as I perused through the Facebook pages of many of my friend's I was clearly aware that nearly everyone was up on what I intended to write about. And that is good for I am also certain that many of you are seeing what I am seeing; the actual end of an era.
For some of us, our children are seeing the resurgence in music, clothes, and even phrases which are in no way new to us but you can't convince them that you already did that back in the day. For certain, there is nothing new under the sun.
Today I am very watchful and pensive. I am watching our "acquaintances" who were actors, singers, boxing champions, rappers, cartoonists, computer geniuses, commentators and more leave our presence at an alarmingly fast rate. We need to be sure to love one another with a real love and cherish the beauty of relationships.
I hope your day is great.
Dennis
