As I lay Still

  Today was quiet and hot. I admit that I was very lethargic and spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon in bed. I alternated between watching television and drifting off to sleep. Some days I simply seem to shut down. Perhaps it is my body's way of helping me to recover from my thoughts; which are sometimes abundant and deep.  I try not to ever worry because I personally believe that by doing so exhibits a lack of faith.  But I don't see myself as a man above any other and so I do drift, at times, into thoughts of "why", "what if", "when", and "how".  2012 has been a treacherous year for me and several of my friends. While I am encouraging others to hang in and they do the same for me I can't help but to peer through mist- filled eyes and look upwards for my help which has been promised to me. I remain in love with God, I know that life is truly worth living, and I believe that trouble does not always last.


  (Things I have done in my past) I have had my mantra recitations, I have asked my inner man to exchange places with my outer man, I have diligently read the writings of some of the most prolific pastors and preachers, and I subjected myself to even the dogmatic teachings of our world's most successful and charismatic religious leaders.  I've had discorse with Niche, parlayed with the plattitudes of Plato, rumminated over the ramblings of Homer, and sought enlightenment from wisdom subscribed by Socrates. Like the apostle Paul, I, too, have a thorn in my flesh. At some times I have displayed the faith of Peter and sought to tread water to my Jesus, but I began to sink, too. I felt that perhaps I was to be a champion for the Lord and go into battle, like King David.  War, however, left me with bloody hands and an eternal distaste for violence. I once led congregations and taught and preached to countless men, women and children only to distinctly learn that the greatest requirement for officiating over a house of God is to have one's own home blameless. I am careful to pray to God and not to loved ones who have passed away, for I remember King Saul and his visit to the witch of Endor.(1 Samuel Chapter 28).  


  So tomorrow may be different, or maybe not. They say it is always darkest before the storm and that joy comes in the morning after you have weeped all night. Has anyone been in a storm lately? Have any of you shed tears? Join in with me and let us weary God together. Let us pursue him and hold Him to His promises. Let us do this with boldness knowing that we have done our very best to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, repented of our wrongs daily, and have not sought after other gods.

So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. Matthew 7:11

  So we stay with God. Where else do we go and who else is worthy of following? We are created in His image and given life with His breath.  So I remain cognizant that within my heart I am able to listen to my heart for the will, direction, guidance and wisdom of God.  The difficulty is making quiet my own voice.

 I love you all.

 Dennis