As I lay Still

  Today was quiet and hot. I admit that I was very lethargic and spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon in bed. I alternated between watching television and drifting off to sleep. Some days I simply seem to shut down. Perhaps it is my body's way of helping me to recover from my thoughts; which are sometimes abundant and deep.  I try not to ever worry because I personally believe that by doing so exhibits a lack of faith.  But I don't see myself as a man above any other and so I do drift, at times, into thoughts of "why", "what if", "when", and "how".  2012 has been a treacherous year for me and several of my friends. While I am encouraging others to hang in and they do the same for me I can't help but to peer through mist- filled eyes and look upwards for my help which has been promised to me. I remain in love with God, I know that life is truly worth living, and I believe that trouble does not always last.


  (Things I have done in my past) I have had my mantra recitations, I have asked my inner man to exchange places with my outer man, I have diligently read the writings of some of the most prolific pastors and preachers, and I subjected myself to even the dogmatic teachings of our world's most successful and charismatic religious leaders.  I've had discorse with Niche, parlayed with the plattitudes of Plato, rumminated over the ramblings of Homer, and sought enlightenment from wisdom subscribed by Socrates. Like the apostle Paul, I, too, have a thorn in my flesh. At some times I have displayed the faith of Peter and sought to tread water to my Jesus, but I began to sink, too. I felt that perhaps I was to be a champion for the Lord and go into battle, like King David.  War, however, left me with bloody hands and an eternal distaste for violence. I once led congregations and taught and preached to countless men, women and children only to distinctly learn that the greatest requirement for officiating over a house of God is to have one's own home blameless. I am careful to pray to God and not to loved ones who have passed away, for I remember King Saul and his visit to the witch of Endor.(1 Samuel Chapter 28).  


  So tomorrow may be different, or maybe not. They say it is always darkest before the storm and that joy comes in the morning after you have weeped all night. Has anyone been in a storm lately? Have any of you shed tears? Join in with me and let us weary God together. Let us pursue him and hold Him to His promises. Let us do this with boldness knowing that we have done our very best to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, repented of our wrongs daily, and have not sought after other gods.

So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. Matthew 7:11

  So we stay with God. Where else do we go and who else is worthy of following? We are created in His image and given life with His breath.  So I remain cognizant that within my heart I am able to listen to my heart for the will, direction, guidance and wisdom of God.  The difficulty is making quiet my own voice.

 I love you all.

 Dennis





Standing On Heaven While Living On Earth

 

  Today the sky is, once again, overcast and the weather is cool. An ideal day for a morning walk. I slept good and I feel I have need to walk because I have several things on my mind that I must decipher. I have no regrets concerning my life as it presents itself to me at this time. I fight off anxiety and fear by reminding myself that "all things work together for the good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose." Even the things we experience which are seemingly negative can be transformed into a good thing. 

  I hurt this morning, but simultaneously I feel my wounds healing. The truth is that during all of my circumstances I have been inundated with hope and prayers and support of so many loving people. Sometimes my days, (and especially the nights), can be so quiet that I feel alone in my current status, but I have been holding God's hand for many years and I know for a fact that "This, too, shall pass." Although my family of origin is sometimes silent throughout my transition they have proven to be there for me. I have siblings who do not unnecessarily pry or try to run any house but their own. I understand that we all have our own trials we are dealing with, but each time I call and speak to them they are there by my side with love and kindness and, most of all, their prayers and support. I am blessed to have them.

  I have seen a breakthrough for several of my dear friends over the past week; all because they had the courage to step out on faith and believe God and not listen to the naysayers around them. It is true that the testimony of others serves as an inspiration to those around them. In a real sense I suppose you can say that this is why I am still here.  I have been trying very hard not to take things too seriously these days. To be too grave does not allow one to see the big picture; the silver lining in the cloud or to smile in the very face of adversity. We cannot get ahead of God when it concerns our destiny. Being human, I am naturally inclined to attempt to work out my circumstances to the best of my abilities. My attempts always cause me to fall short. That is why I will dare to trust God with my life. I will cast off the natural, (the things I see with my own eyes), and walk in the Spirit so that I can and will trust that God is in control of this world.

  Today is overcast and the weather is cool and still the troubles of this world are plethora and sometimes we feel so alone. Shake it off, my brothers and sisters. Stand fast in the liberty in which Christ has made you free and do not get entangled in the bondage you have been so faithfully delivered from. Remember the times when you were brought out of those other impossible situations. There are more who are for us than there are against us. Therefore; I urge that you join with me and continue to be steadfast, unmovable, always going forward in the work of the Lord. Keep believing for a financial breakthrough right speedily and continue to believe that God has a remedy for your specific situation. Believe He has someone for you to love and who will deeply love you in return. Stand hand-in-hand with your friends and believe in MIRACLES for them without wavering. You say there is a God and you confess to believe in Him so step out of your flesh and into your spiritual self and start to profess and claim things to be as they should be and not as they are! There are no limits in the Spirit.  If you cannot grasp any of this then perhaps it is time for a fast.
  Have a great and productive day.
  I love you all.
  Dennis
 

Saturday Morning Seduction

"He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God?"

Micah 6:8

 I awoke refreshed and motivated to walk this morning and  I was out walking by 7:00 A.M.  There were some things I desired to do with my yard and a friend had advised me to do as much as I could before the noon sun was shining brightly.  I remembered how just yesterday I was wondering why I, (or my friends), never come across those big financial windfalls so many other people seem to receive. I thought about my friend who is working three jobs to support his family, another friend who has her heart set on running a full-time bakery, single mothers who are doing all they can to survive without having to barter their bodies for some man's meager provisions, the couple who are diligent in paying their tithes to their church but are still going through financial hardships. I know that several of us would bless our friends if ever a winning lottery ticket, a visit from Publishers Clearing House, an inheritance or merely an unexpected financial blessing landed in our lap.  This I sincerely believe because I have friends like that. You know them; if they have $10.00 you have $5.00 of that.

  I was halfway through my 1 hour walk when as I cruised past a mailbox my eyes caught a black object on the ground at the base of the mailbox.  I bent down and picked the item up which I immediately recognized was a small wallet.  As I continued my route, I looked through the wallet and noticed there was money folded and stuffed into one side. Also in the wallet was a bank card, several Wal Mart gift cards, some miscellaneous cards and an ID.  Isn't this just what I was speaking of earlier? I mean, here is an unexpected windfall; credit cards, cash and gift certificates and nobody around but me. After all, who can't do with a little extra money. Isn't God good?

                                       Now you know better than that!

   I rounded the corner where I normally begin my return journey. As I came back by the mailbox where I discovered the wallet I went to the home and rung the doorbell. After a short while a young woman came to the door. I apologized for disturbing her and proceeded to ask if the person who's name was on the ID card lived there. She assured me she had no idea who the person was and thanked me for checking with them.  I did the same for the house next door.  I continued on to my house and after having no success in locating the person on Facebook or Google searches I received the idea to deliver the wallet to the bank identified on the credit card.  The bank manager was all to happy to call the individual and report to him that his entire wallet had been delivered to her office. I thanked her and she thanked me and I left feeling victorious.

  Sometimes even good people feel the need to take shortcuts towards their "blessings" but we realize that deep within our heart has already shown us what is right. Obedient is what you are called to be when no one is looking.  All I could think of is what a frantic state the person who lost the wallet must have been in. Perhaps that was his car payment, his gas money, his rent or grocery money. Perhaps it was his tithes. For me, it was no temptation to return the lost item for I have a duty to myself, as well as to God, to do unto others as I would like them to do unto me.

  When you are faced with an opportunity to take a shortcut towards your blessings please remember that our God does not need to partner with evil to bring about good in our life.

 Have a great and blessed day.

 I await the report of your blessing which is soon to come.

 I love you all,

 Dennis  

Fighting Through Fear

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phillipians 4:6 (NIV)

 It wasn't easy getting out of bed this morning. I had a relatively quiet evening and retired before 11:00 P.M. however; the first of the month is always a busy time for me. I had sat down and worked out my necessary monthly expenses earlier this week and I was almost eager to get started. I was so enthusiastic that I nearly forsook my morning walk; telling myself that my plans were too important to delay.  As I was making my bed I was convicted by my decision making process and concluded that it was better- no, necessary, that I walk. My walks have proven to be very therapeutic for me. Not only is my circulation and weight loss improving but the time alone in the fresh morning air, the singing and trilling of birds, and the scenery throughout my neighborhood produces a calming effect that creates a conduit to God. In no time at all I find myself calm, clear-headed, highly reflective, and thankful. I am able to work out so many things as I walk and talk with God. Fears which continually press upon my soul are met with a strong, spiritual defiance and I feel myself smile. What are bills but something that need to be paid and by grace I am able to do so.  As I force-walk past the stately homes within my neighborhood I am clearly able to see the blessing of being able to live in such a place. I don't deserve anything because of what I have done. Sure, I dedicated over 20 years of my life to serving my country and I try to treat others with respect as much as humanly possible; even the very difficult ones. And as often as I attempt to bury some of my past I still have moments when I reflect on painful events in my life.  I am aware that the enemy desires to sift me; to tear me down and cause me to relinquish the favor God has placed upon my life, but I can proudly say that by God's grace I am still here.  When an animal is backed into a corner it will rise up against the most fierce adversary and stand and fight. We, as people, are no different.  When situations in our lives aggressively confront us we do not lie down and surrender, but we call upon whatever strength we have within ourselves and from on high and we come out swinging. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN EASY LIFE.

  After my morning "devotional walk" I was able to see my path more clearly. There is a calmness in my soul that will not allow me to worry about life's circumstances or the situations I am now facing. I continue to pray for my friends and family whom I have communicated with throughout the week. We sincerely love one another and when one bleeds the other feels their pain, but we are touching and agreeing for success through prayer.
 Have a great day and do not fear.
 I love you all.
 Dennis