Knowing Who You Are

  When is the last time anyone genuinely inquired as to how you are doing? I'm not talking about the standard "How are you doing?" greeting, but someone sincerely wanting to know how you are' both inside and out. I spend a great amount of time listening to others. I can probably tell you more about some people than you would care to know and it isn't because I'm a gossip. I just make it a practice to listen well. The trouble with being a good listener is that there aren't may people who actually practice listening to others so you may find yourself having listened to someone for hours only to have the conversation end on a one-sided note; You know intricately more about them but they haven't asked you one question about yourself.

  I do believe that there was a time when communicating was full duplex, (conversation going back and forth between two parties simultaneously), instead of half duplex (communication being accomplished between parties but not simultaneously). Growing up in the 60's I learned so much from my mother who was a very communicable person. True enough, she taught me to love the written word and encouraged me to read anything from encyclopedias to dictionaries to folk tales but she encouraged me to express myself, as well.  My memories of my mother are very vivid and plethoric and for some reason it seemed as if I spent more time with her then I did with my siblings. After she passed away her absence in my life was never replaced by another.

  Romans 12:3 states "...do not think that you are better than you really are. Use good sense and measure yourself by the amount of faith that God has given you." (Contemporary English Version).  I do try to be humble but at the same time I am bold enough to recognize that I am an exceptionally smart and talented man. I know that much of my drive to "be better" came from being the sixth out of seven children. Like David in the Bible, I felt that I was overlooked many times because of my small stature and plain appearance. Whenever my parent's would have social gatherings at our home, (which was quite often),  most of the attention was centered around the twins, (who were a year older than me), my older siblings who could sing and dance, and my baby sister. It wasn't until The Jackson 5 arrived on the music scene that I even conceived being the focal point of anything.  To this very day I am thankful for Michael Jackson for encouraging me to get out front.

  Still, through my schooling, the military, the ministry, my marriages, working with special needs children and incarcerated youth I found myself, once again, having to strive extra hard to show people that I did, in fact, exist.  

  Perhaps I am destined to be as I am until my final days. If that is the case then I am not in despair because I really want God to get all of the credit for any good thing that I have said and done in life; however, I would not be telling the truth if I didn't confess that I would love for  someone to genuinely say to me "Tell me about yourself, Dennis." 

  Michael Bassey once said, "Popularity makes no sense if your fame is a shame." Knowing this, I will ascribe to the type of life described by Virginia Woolf when she wrote, "Better was it to go unknown and leave behind you an arch, then to burn like a meteor and leave no dust." 

  Life is sometimes complicated.
  
I suppose I'm feeling a bit in my feelings today. 

Putting On A New Attitude

I had one of my war dreams last night. In my dream I was back in the military again and our unit was preparing to go through some rigorous training. I was unaware that my dream had escaped the confines of my own mind until my wife told me this morning that I said to her in my sleep, "Put on your boots. We are going to the field."

Later this morning as I entered my study I read Ephesians chapter 4 and the Word was so very much alive to me. It spoke about unity between all who profess to be a Christian and how our attitudes towards one another and non-Christians should be.

I have always believed that the enemy distracts us with sensational news in order to keep us away from the things that are truly important. We all were born with a specific purpose and when we take on the life God wants us to live we become virtually unstoppable.

The God life calls for humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another in love and making every effort to maintain this unity in love. But we were born guilty (Psalm 51:5) and changing our nature isn't always an easy thing to do.

I once worked for a man who was extremely bi-polar. He took medicine that helped him to remain focused and calm but he would often neglect the medicine because he liked the feeling of being unrestrained; unchecked, uninhibited and uncontrollable. You can say that applying the Word of God to our lives is the medicine that calms our sin nature.

My writings are meant to be conversations. I don't try to be "preachy" because non-Christians sometimes get offended and some Christians are competitive; judging every word to see if it is of God. Therefore, I merely speak and let God sort out the rest. 

Why is there so much fighting among those who claim to have the same father? We are no longer children. We are not supposed to be living out of the vanity of our own minds. How then are so many Christian's hearts ignorant and hardened?

Some people have lost all sensitivity and have abandoned themselves to speaking freely about their promiscuous sexual practices. They claim a new life but remain in their former life which is corrupted and lustful. This unchecked nature has found its way into many of our churches. I would say that it has crept in, but that would be a lie. This sinful nature has boldly walked into our places of worship scantly clad or bearing a lust-filled eye because it knows it will not be checked.

Please hear this; "God has not given us a Spirit of fear, but of love and of power and a sound mind." (II Timothy 1:7). We must, once again, find Holy Ghost boldness in our churches, in our homes and especially in our everyday lives. It is time to stop being false with people. Speak the truth. If it offends someone, oh well. The truth is better than a lie any day. If the dress is too tight; tell her. If his pants are too tight; tell him. If you notice someone trying to mix darkness with light; educate them. Stop holding grudges. You can love someone and not associate with them daily.

Stop stealing from your job. Stop talking ungodly around certain people because you want to fit in. Stop looking for a blessing from God when you do your best to be as cheap as you can be; never supporting a good cause, never contributing to the needy and always making an excuse not to give generously to the church.

Stop slandering your brother and sister in the Lord.

Stop grieving the Holy Spirit of God.

Sunday Morning Dream

  I slept very good last night, (Saturday).  Some credit has to be given to my prescribed sleep-aid. I had a very vivid dream during the early hours of Sunday morning. I dreamed that I was shirtless and for some reason I was carrying a woman, (I will not disclose who), who was flung over my left shoulder. As I alternated running through a residential area and a wooded area (sometimes it seemed to be in circles),  I recall feeling as if I was responsible for her safety. I say this because there was another woman who greatly resembled the ex-wife of one of my brothers and she very angry at me for some reason and she and her young son were throwing bricks, ( and anything else they could find),  at me as I carried the woman and ran. Some of the objects hit me and I recall that she bloodied my left shoulder with a brick as I continued to carry the woman through a small patch of trees. She yelled insults as she attacked me but my stride was unwavering. 

  I know that in life we are often met with obstacles while on our journey.  I would be in error if I contended that there was no one who desired to do me harm or wish me even death. (Yes, I truly believe that).  But here is the key to not having any fear; If God be for you he is more than the world against you. Regardless if you have wronged someone or have been wronged by another, God is able to forgive you of all of your mistakes and he will even protect you from those who have no capacity to forgive or who are simply too controlled by the enemy to think gracious thoughts towards anyone. When you know that you are forgiven you can rest easy and let the Lord fight your battles; seen and unseen. 

  The woman I was carrying and protecting in my dream was someone who had hurt me badly in life. She manipulated me for material possessions, she pretended to care about me, she talked behind my back and she lied on me yet here I was protecting her with my own life from others. In reality, I have forgiven this woman and I make it a point to still pray for her. I am concerned about the condition of my heart and being right with God more than anything else.

  Don't miss out on heaven because of anger, malice and unforgiveness.

Living After The Snow Melts

  The weather has been bitterly cold this Winter.  I greatly enjoyed being at home and listening to music and watching a couple of movies. It's something I have not been motivated to do for some time, (even though my therapist and several friends have been encouraging me to find a way to do the things I used to love doing). I also decided to do a little bit out and around town today.   I went to an early movie and later enjoyed a good lunch. Not being ready to call it a day, I continued on and perused a few department stores; not looking for anything in particular, but I find shopping, in general, to be a blessing and a great comfort.  It also helps me to not to dwell on unpleasant thoughts.


  Two families I personally know have experienced a passing of a loved one this week.  On the other hand a good friend has celebrated a birthday on this day. Whether we live or die, life goes on. I have learned that in the area of relationships, as well. Some relationships live and some die but life must still go on. Several quaint occurrences have encouraged me so much this week. The promise of newness is so close it is as a sweet aroma in my nostrils. I am purposely holding several things close to my chest for I have had to shift my perception of some of my surroundings; but with me what you see is what you get. I am so proud of the distance I have come these past few months. I am especially humbled by what God has shown to me and done for me throughout all of this.  I haven't loved myself like this is a long while.  

  Beginning to blog again feels different this time around. I received a couple of phone calls as I began to type and I was glad I was able to thwart the conversations because in the past they would have caused me much grief and pain. Instead, I am looking forward to the dinner I will cook this evening as I watch the game.  There has been a vast amount of snow in my life as of late. It had me covered heavily; so much that I often felt petrified, unable to move, smile or find any joy in being alive. But I am glad I didn't let the freezing cold paralyze me. I am thankful for friends who came with their shovels and torches and scraped the snow from my lawn and showed me that the grass underneath was yet green.

  I encourage my friends who are spending a vast amount of time being overly concerned about many things, (If able, read the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:39-42), to let go and let God do what He does which is always perfect and right. Stay warm, travel safely and spread love.

Dennis   

  

The Start Of Another Year

Staying positive, focused and motivated is not always easy for me. Unlike some people, I have to work hard at it. It's a combination of several things; my childhood, my relationships, my careers, familial issues and more. I've discovered long ago that things which happen in one's life are sometimes traumatic enough to drive a person to acquire extreme behaviors, mental issues or addictions and without the help of true friends, a loving partner or a total stranger, (who has devoted his/her life to helping others through counseling and social work) some of us would, indeed go insane or succumb to a premature death. 

  No man is an island

No man stands alone

Each man's joy is joy to me

Each man's grief is my own

We need one another

So I will defend

Each man as my brother

Each man as my friend

-Joan Baez

  A new year has come. It is now 2018. If I told you that I cannot imagine what this year has in store for me I would be lying. Although I cannot predict each circumstance which may arise I can tell you that there are some things I am greatly anticipating because I have designed for them to come into fruition.  The usual "cast of characters" will also be before me in this New Year. You know who I am referring to; doubt, envy, hatred, rumor, slander, pain, ignorance; to name a few, but that's all right. They only exist to make me strong and through it all I must remember that my primary purpose is not to be an object of abuse or to be used by any person but, instead, to show the strength of God's love and with strength. 

  In 2018 I look forward to my visions and dreams becoming a reality. It took me a while, but I finally learned some of the lessons life has been trying to teach me for many years. I wish you peace, my friends. I wish you success in your good endeavors. I pray that you will no longer procrastinate in matters of your health. I pray you find the power to let go of whomever and whatever is stunting your growth and killing your dreams and aspirations. Let the paralyzing fear be cast out of your life and take that leap that you have been promising yourself you would take year after year. Explore more than your limited perimeter and travel somewhere new. Get to know new people and seek to understand others who don't look and act like you. Live your life!

  I love you all. 
  Dennis    

    

Learning To Love Everyone

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. 

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

  It has been sometime since I sat down to my computer and typed a fresh thought. I must admit that I have been extremely busy at my home and with my family. I have no complaints about my life for in these times we need only to keep our eyes and ears open and we will readily see that there are many whose situations easily put our pitiful complaints to rest. 

  This has been a very enlightening year for me. I purposed to release toxic people from my life, to become more financially responsible, to be good about my opinion of myself, to be an active voice in matters of community and world views, to better understand my Facebook family and to try to be there for them and not to criticize them for the times when they are up and down and to be a better husband, father and friend. I am so very thankful for the burdens that have been lifted and the freeness of my soul. 
  

  And you, how have you been? I ask this sincerely because I don't want to be one of those people who can go on and on about themselves and never pause to really see how you are doing. I will admit that I am a bit addicted to Facebook because of the daily interaction it gives me with such a varying degree of personalities. I  don't like talking on the phone very much but I will text, message and respond to many of your postings. Some of you only like to share postings that you can personally identify with, some of you are deeply introspective about life and like to share what it has taught you, some have found religion and you wish that all men/women could share in your love of God, others love the past; the old sitcoms and old movies, some are very political while others seek to save others from making the bad mistakes that they, themselves, have made in matters of love. It's all good.

  
  In retrospect, I suppose the most difficult thing about being on Facebook, for me, was developing an attitude of tolerance concerning the opinions some people may display in their postings. Some are politically inflammatory, some are racist towards a specific group of people, (and that goes both ways), some despise those who post their love for their significant other while others wonder why people post every location and task, (regardless as to how trivial), they do in a day. People are people and therefore they have their own individual ways of doing things. Isn't that what makes life so interesting?

  I encourage you to keep being YOU. 
You are unique and there is absolutely no one like you. Those who don't like your posts have the option of ignoring them or deleting you from their page. Just know this; someone is being encouraged, rejuvenated, made to smile or laugh and carry when they wanted to give up on everything merely because of your thoughts, actions and words.

  Let's all have a lighter view of life and ourselves.
  I love you all,
  Dennis

Darkness Before The Dawn

"For the thing which I greatly feared has come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me". 
-Job 3:25

  Have you ever had a dark time in your life? I'm referring to a time when it seems that all that could go wrong does go wrong despite how much you pray.  Even the very things that you have feared happening actually do happen; and seemingly all at once.  When these times occur in our lives, (and they will come), our initial thought is to rigorously examine our own life.  You ask yourself "What could I possibly have done to bring such calamities into my life"? And soon you begin to scrutinize every move you've made in the last few days/weeks/ months.

  Very soon, the enemy will come in the form of doubt, self-pity, anger, fear, defeat, loneliness, confusion, rejection and self-condemnation.  Depending on the time of the day your thoughts could easily fluctuate between pressing through the situation and giving in.  It's not an easy place to be; in fact, it's sometimes so unbearable that your very breath feels as if it will be your last.  

  After hearing of several deaths of people she knew or who were close associations of other friends and family, my granddaughter remarked "I don't like this year. There are too many deaths".  She called it "A Haunted Year". 

  I personally believe in prayer.  For years I have witnessed the unrestricted and boundless power of my own prayers and many of my sincere and imperfect friends.  (I say "imperfect" because I try my best to only associate with "real" people; those who know of their imperfections but do not let them stand in the way of sincerely loving others, showing true empathy, are never judgmental and who have the most astonishing sense of loyalty, friendship and understanding.  These friends are not religious in any fanatical sense and they always seem to have the ability to love people when others have turned away. 

  If I were to divulge a brief synopsis of my own life it would include many of the things mentioned above. I have seen and felt dark days and gut-wrenching pain brought on by false associations and those with the express knack for usury; both mental and physical.  But I have not been drowned.  When my soul had become overwhelmed God reached out his hand to me; often in the form of one or more of those wonderful people I call FRIEND.

  Today, I wish only to encourage you to hold on throughout your storm, your test, your trial.  "Submit yourself to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you". (James 4:7).  People will attempt to make you believe that there are no true friends left in this mean world.  I tell you the truth when I say that God has 7,000 who has not bowed down to the devil. (Romans 11:4).

  Love deeply.
  I love you all,
  Dennis