Not Always Happy, But Always Forgiven.

Change is unavoidable. Sometimes it's a change from within, sometimes it's an external change. Whatever the means, it is still change.   When one feels that they are where they are going to be for the remainder of their life, another plan sometimes emerges from places never conceived. As adults we pride ourselves on planning our lives through education, family planning, whether to marry or remain single, or where to live. I suppose that is why it is difficult when a situation arises that may send you North instead of South; East as opposed to West. 

  You desire to work in a particular job forever and retire but there comes a sudden change. You marry and have certain expectations and that dream falls short. You desire that your children excel in school and attend a college where they blossom and attain a standard of living that exceeds anything you have ever acquired, but they go in a totally different direction.  The list goes on and on.

 This morning my thoughts are of King David, (in the Bible). David was a man called by God at a very young age. Even he believed that his older brothers were "better fitted" for the tasks that God had called him to do but he was obedient and followed God. But I don't want to relegate this writing to a sermon. I want to fast-forward through King David's life of accomplishments and focus on him during his trying times; such as when King Saul was out to kill him out of sheer jealously, his adultery with the married Bathsheba and his order to have her husband killed. The death of his child and feeling alone and abandoned, (even by his God), on several occasions.  

  If we were to only focus on King David's achievements we would conclude that he was totally blessed and above reproach. But as for me, I find more of a kinship with him when I read of his faults and mistakes and of his falling short of the mark. Why? Because that is what life actually brings to us. Disappointments in ourselves, in other people, in the organization we work in and in our government. 

 Just this morning I read a post from a good friend which stated that we should never say we are sick of church; but rather say that we are sick of organized religion. I understood this immediately. Church is of God whereby organized religion is of man.  When I learned the difference between the two many yeas ago I was able to keep a smile on my face and a song in my heart even when my character, my feelings, my accomplishments and my manhood was being grievously attacked from the outside; even when I was the one who was in error. 

  Yes, I have made many mistakes. I have fallen short during my life and will most likely fall short again several times before I die. I believe one of the greatest lessons I have learned this year is not to beat yourself up when you fall short or do not fulfill a commitment. 

  My dear friends, we all have sinned and fall short of God's expectations of us. So smile. Smile that no other is in control of your soul but God. Smile because you have lived another day to be a better person than you were yesterday. Smile because you are making a difference in someone's life by simply posting a thought or an encouraging word on Facebook.  And believe me when I say that God notices every seemingly insignificant act you do towards others; especially strangers.  

 I'm going out to do some things around town and I will reflect and meditate on good things and good people as I do.  Don't stay down!
I love you all,
Dennis

Sunday Morning Thoughts

"Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated". 

-Confucious

   You would not believe the week I've had. It was certainly a great one; one of the best weeks I have experienced in a long time.  Oh, sure. There were many occasions for breakdowns, tears, worry, anger and hatred but I am learning new methods of bypassing these negative joy-kills everyday.  If you want any idea of how I do this I will share it with you. If not, you can stop reading now.

  I believe in living a "good" life.  This simply means that I attempt to have a character that is not abusive, judgmental, prejudiced, angry nor high-minded.  No, I do not agree with every one's lifestyle, methodology, or opinions. I was bred a military man therefore order, consistency, precision and obedience to authority is within me.  One of hardest things I ever had to do was make the transition from the military life to civilian life.  (Even today I do not think I have successfully accomplished this).  In many ways civilian life was the antithesis of all I had learned from my own upbringing and through 20 plus years of serving my country.  I found it most stressful and difficult when I would let all the unfairness that went on around me affect me to my core. I would reason within myself, "If this were the Army and that person was my soldier...". You know the rest.  Eventually I had to learn to care for my own little corner of the world and only then did I begin to feel the pressure release.

  The same applies to life, in general.  I used to spend long hours worrying about family and friend's predicaments. I would become so entrenched in their situations that I would lose sleep, become stressed and depressed and even spend money I should not have spent.  But life has taught me to let go and let God. I learned that you can temporarily relieve a person's situation but if that person does not change within their own heart than you will continually find yourself attending to the same situation over and over again.  My wife has a saying that they recite in her home town of Cincinnati, Ohio, which is, "If you like it, then I love it". In other words, if being as you are is fine with you then it's doubly fine with me. 

  Now comes a bit of my learned method. Each morning before my feet hit the floor I stretch and  I call forth things into my life. I call forth good health, I call forth wealth, I call forth favor, I call forth wisdom; and the list does not end there. One may call forth into their life any and all positive attributes they may feel lacking or are in dire need of.  I find a smile before I am attacked with depression or worry. I become thankful because I have been able to awaken to a new day.  I watch and observe all things using my spirit man's eyes.

  To do these things may seem odd to some or benign to others; but it is far better than waking up unguarded and being at the mercy of the spiritual wickedness with surrounds us all.  My friend, it is time to lose the chains. It is time to walk in true victory and not in that quiet, timid attitude that you have been taught is victory.  It's long overdue that you stand your ground against all that seeks to bury you in a life of complacency, repetition and no hope for better.  I don't know about you but I am going to drain this life of all my rewards. Children of royalty should not be in the hog pen. Shake off your arrogance and pride and unforgiving hearts and come back home to your Father who openly awaits your return.

I've said too much but know that I love you all.
Dennis

Having Music In It All

  Today was what some may consider as uneventful, but I look deeply at every moment of my day. I have perused the Facebook pages of some of my friends, gone out to take care of my daily business, stopped by Popeye's while out and picked up David's favorite lunch and now I am home in my man cave listening to Al Green's greatest hits. I've officially labeled this as a chill day and I feel no guilt about it whatsoever. There is much truth in the old adage "All work and no play makes one a dull boy". Twenty three years spent making my nation a priority and I am finally learning to make myself a priority.  

"Let me say, before I forget, that loving you, baby, is where it's at", croons Al Green in the background. 
So many good memories does this music bring to me. Where I was, what I was doing, who I knew and what I knew is flooding my heart and mind like a tsunami and I love it.  I have learned, for my own peace of mind, to reject teachings that good old R&B music is of the devil; for through it I am reminded of what I have come from and what dire situations I have been able to overcome. 
"Let's Get Married Today.
  Those who truly know me will attest that music is, indeed, in my DNA and nothing can change that. As a young boy I remember my older siblings bringing home the latest music and teaching us the latest dances. My mother and father were also great lovers of music. Stevie Wonder, Otis Redding, Wilson Pickett, Shirley Caesar, Andre Crouch, Aretha Franklin, The Temptations, Brooke Benton; to name a few, are intertwined with my upbringing. Yes, they were there when we moved to Germany as a family and lived on the economy.  They were there when my brother, Alfred was a soccer champion. They were there when mom got ill and later died. They were with us when we would sit around and pray for better days. That same music is there for us as we live our own lives and do our uttermost to be the best for our own individual families. 

"I'm so tired of being alone, won't you help me, girl".

  I am thankful that through it all God has been the meeting place in all of our lives.  It was ingrained in us that He is our present help and today He continues to make all of our ends meet. 
"It's all in a day's work, call me".

  Enjoy your music. Enjoy and never let go of your memories.
  I love you all.
  Dennis

Saying Good-bye To Pat West

 

 

 

To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
~Thomas Campbell

 

 

  I was on the phone Thursday night talking to a friend in North Carolina when on a whim I happened to ask about the status of an old friend, Pat West, who we grew up with in Fayetteville. "Pat West recently died", was the reply. I was speechless for a second or two before I was able to enquire further. I learned that the funeral would be the coming Saturday at 1:00 PM. I immediately had to say good-bye on the phone so that I could think things through.

 

  Pat West was much more than someone I casually knew; she was family. She and my older sister, Joyce, were good friends and when we moved to the "White House" at the back end of Hollywood Heights Pat West just so happened to live a few houses away on the same street. Our mother had passed away many years ago and we had become accustomed to frequent moves from Fort Bragg, Fayetteville, and Spring Lake. The white house was an American style home which had at least three bedrooms, white siding, and a silver 250 gallon propane gas tank in the back yard which I was always in fear of it exploding. All of our previous homes had been brick ones, (with the exception of a trailer home we resided in while living in Spring lake).  I think I can safely speak on behalf of my siblings when I say that the thought of moving into the white house was embarrassing and humiliating. Had our family's socioeconomic status deteriorated to such a level? 

 

  My disdain was short-lived. What seemed to be a decrepit old house turned out to be a meeting place for so many warm and loving friends. Other than us, people in the neighborhood did not see our home as "that old white house", but rather as "the home of the Spain's". It was a place where me and my brothers and sisters would often sit around and vow to have complete and prosperous lives for our own children. (What thoughts for children to be having; but that's where we were). Our photo albums contain more pictures in the white house than any other home we lived in.

 

 Today the white house has been long torn down. Ironically, that house where Pat West spent many days inside with us; helping me and the twins rehearse our music and helping to choreograph our dance moves, hanging out with our sister, Joyce, and much more; now in its place stands a youth center/church which the repast for Pat West was held. Pat gathered in our home with us one final time.  

 

 

 "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.

 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord".
-------------Romans 8:37-39

 

Rest In Peace, Pat.

I love you all,

Dennis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of Ducks And Such

 

 

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”
― George R.R. Martin    

 

 

 Every so often a situation occurs that literally divides our nation. The issue can be so volatile that it breaches races, political affiliation, and even long term friendships. If anyone has watched television over the last several days I think we will all agree that the "Duck Dynasty's" Phil Robertson has accomplished such a division because of his inflammatory comments in a recent GQ magazine interview. In the interview Robertson, (who claims to be an evangelical preacher), expressed his beliefs against homosexuality and a host of other carnal acts. Of course, he backed his words up by semi-quoting from the Bible. And as if that wasn't enough, Mr. Robertson went on to say how blacks were "happier" working in the cotton fields and singing and that they were better off before the Civil Rights movement. (Even now as I type this I can't believe this was actually said in this day and age). 

 

  Update: It has been nearly 30 minutes since I began this blog but I was interrupted, (in a good way), by a telephone call from a dear friend in Kentucky. She is a middle-age white woman with whom I worked with while employed with the VA in Louisville. She is, and has always been, a unique woman and friend and she has visited our home and kept in touch via birthday and Christmas cards.

 

  I say the interruption was a good one because I was so livid; no, I was incensed with all the Duck Dynasty controversy and I was prepared to rant on about it. However; I am so glad God knows what we need and when we need it. She and I talked about our families, retirement life and of course, the Duck mess. She said that she simply turns the channel when that controversy comes on because all it does is bring you down.  "Besides", she continued, "they are just a bunch of rednecks." My anger was immediately diffused.

 

  It is well known and documented that America has a horrible problem with racism. I really learned this to be true when I joined the military. But I do not attempt to go on a crusade to convert the haters into "lovers of all men." I had to learn that this was not  even possible from the pulpit. Today I just take my own small piece of the world and do the best I can with the few relationships I have.

 

  I pray for a swift end to this Duck Dynasty mess and even more so that true friendships will not become a casualty of this war.

 

  God bless,

   Dennis

 

 

 

A Nostalgic Night Of Song And Dance

Music is my religion

-Jimi Hendrix

 



  The days have been cold and windy as of late. I have been partial to summer, as opposed to winter, for as long as I can remember. It's no wonder that I do not look forward to too many activities outside of the comforts of my home during the winter months. However; when I learned of a certain concert coming to town from my wife I must admit that I was very much interested. Normally I shy away from events which accommodate large amounts of people, but to hear that Bobby Womack, The Isley Brothers and Frankie Beverly & Maze were coming to town caused me to set aside my personal idiosyncrasies. My wife does not share my proclivity to R & B music but my sister, Cynthia, was more than willing to attend the event with me. Preparations were quickly made. 

  The venue was excellent. There was seating; as opposed to standing room only, and the booths inside the concert hallways provided foods such as Philly cheese steaks, burgers, chicken tenders and fries, popcorn and Nachos. The beverages were also a variety ranging from bottled water to beer and mixed drinks.

  Before the program began there was the show of concert participants such as men who wore floor length fur coats with matching hats, women with glistening, skin-tight outfits, and couples who adorned themselves in matching outfits. Among the sea of 8,000 black and white faces was one common thread; joy and happiness. Everyone appeared to anxiously await the melodic machinations that were soon to occur that evening.

  I will omit much so as to shorten this blog, but I will say that the plethora of emotions which flooded my soul from the singing of each of the acts were overwhelming. I saw my own father strut across the stage as Bobby Womack belted out such tunes as "Stop On By", "If You Think You're Lonely Now" and Harry Hippie". The Isley brothers presented the audience with every top ten hit from "Shout", "Who's That lady", "Atlantis", "Between The Sheets" and much, much more. To add to their show were a bevy of beautiful female dancers who made you feel worthy of such a great show. And finally, Frankie Beverly & Maze took their time and serenaded us with their timeless classics. 

  My sister and I did not need the aid of any alcoholic drink to cause us to enjoy the program. We needed to merely listen to the music and glance out across the arena and see the multitudes of people dancing in their seats and in the aisles to feel the enjoyment many were feeling along with us.  My sister is a huge Maze fan and could not help but call me out to Cha-cha with her during on of their tunes. There was an aged couple who were sitting next to me that could not resist the lure of the smooth sounds of Maze and suddenly found themselves swing dancing in the aisle. And of course, someone initiated an Electric Slide dance which had me and my sister eagerly joining in with a host of other attendees. Between acts, the MC said "Somebody make some noise" and I was tickled with delight as my sister hollered out "noise". It was a time when I wished that all of my dearest friends and family could be there with me.

  Both Bobby Womack, Frankie Beverly and Ron Isley spoke of friends who were no longer with us; Whitney Houston, Marvin Gay, Luther Vandross, and more; while simultaneously I remembered those in my own life such as my parents, early years with my siblings, childhood friends, military buddies and many others who were no longer here to enjoy and hear such historic music. I decided right then and there that I would enjoy this music for them; that I would be their eyes and ears, and that I would help the legacy continue on.

  Life is indeed short. We must all strive to make every second count for something. I am thankful for being allowed to experience such history.

  I love you all,
  Dennis

A Parting And A Coming Together

"My family is my strength and my weakness".

-Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

  Family. Sometimes it is difficult for me to explain my family. We have been through so much together, (and apart), over the years. My family is not perfect, as some of yours may be. Over the years we have shared great times; as well as devastating moments such as the early loss of our mother, the economic and emotional hardships we endured afterwards, and the subsequent separations we experienced as we grew into adulthood.  I believe that each one of us has sat alone with our thoughts and wondered how we would have fared in life had our mother survived her illness. Would we all have gone to college? Would some of us have married at a young age or would we have even married that particular mate? Would we have become so independent at an early age or would we follow the paths of so many youth of today and stay under our parents roof well into adulthood?

  I stopped mulling over these type questions many years ago. I have long accepted my lot in life and have concluded that it is the will of God that I have taken the paths, (whether good or bad), that I was destined to take.  

  Recently I was blessed with the opportunity to see my twin brothers again after many months of non-communication. Without going into detail, I will simply say that the enemy had been successful in causing a breach in our relationship and until we were face-to-face we did not realize how we had been deceived. Sadly, it took the passing of our childhood friend, Winston's, mother, (Judith Nixon), to bring us together again. In many ways Mrs. Nixon had been like a mother to us as we were growing up and there was no way that we would not be able to attend her home going.  I view our recent reunion as mother Nixon's final charitable act towards us, and for this I am so very grateful. 

  As Winston and me and my brothers congregated and began to reminiscence I began to feel the resurgence of the special love that has been between us for years. Someone once said "funerals are not for the dead but for the living". I saw this to be so true as we talked and took pictures and laughed together.  My relationship with my brothers has always been a special one. I am thankful to God for allowing us to come together again in this life and disperse any evil intent to keep us apart.  

  There is still much work to be done concerning me and several other members of my family, but I will be faithful to believe that even those situations are already being worked on by God.  

  Sometimes it's so hard to walk through the storm but it is possible.

  I love you all.

  Dennis