Reaffirming My Stance

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." -Ephesians 6:12

  It has been awhile since I have blogged. To say that I have been busy is both an understatement and untrue. I am never too busy that I do not reserve a few hours out of my day to rest, replenish and reflect. I must be inspired to blog. I am not on a schedule and I am certainly not on anybody's payroll so when I have something meaningful to say I begin to write. 

  It is so easy for the enemy to cause us to fall out of God's plan for us by bringing thoughts of: failure, sin, unworthiness, confusion, self-doubt, unforgiveness, trauma, illness (physical and/or mental), abandonment, abuse, despair and loneliness. Neither of these are easy to ignore but all are capable of being overcome. I will tell you now that there is no quick fix to whatever our "thorn(s)" may be and we have to remember that deliverance is often a daily process. This is what the apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 15:31 when he said "I die daily".  (Personal testimony); I am attacked by those who disagree with my method of controlling my environment which includes distancing myself from people and situations which negatively affect my health and well-being; regardless as to who they may be. We all have heard the old saying "blood is thicker than water". This adage intimates that family bloodlines takes precedence over anyone outside of our family of origin. If this is true then why did Jesus say in Matthew 12:48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
  And again, Proverbs 18:24 states "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."  

 My Facebook friends, (those who I regularly dialogue with), have been very instrumental in helping me to hold on in difficult times. It is because of their own willingness to share their failures and testimonies and prayers and love that I consider them family and I am "fool" enough to believe that their love for me is sincere. The enemy would have me to doubt this very belief but I will not be swayed otherwise. You are the kind of people God said He would place in the world. You, my friends, are salt. (Matthew 5:13)

  As I began writing this blog I spoke to a good friend on the phone who asked me to pray and to pray "right now". I hung up and did just that. Minutes later the friend called back and said that a very unreasonable supervisor had just been removed by their headquarters from their place of business. 
"Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the LORD." -Psalm 27:14

This morning has been liberating in so many ways. I am strengthened a bit more. I am encouraged much. 
I love you all.
Dennis

Life After Being Played...

   Sometimes I get into pretty deep conversations with my friends. Not too long ago I was speaking to a certain friend whom I haven't heard from in some time.  "I've not seen you on Facebook much lately", I stated, "is everything alright"?  Almost immediately he responded with a string of profanities which were directed at a certain "lady" whom he felt had "played him".  He went on about how the relationship began as a friendship but later developed into something more; or so he felt, and before long he had invested not only his time but his money into her to some extent.  Unfortunately the relationship ended rather abruptly leaving him with the feeling of being used.  (Personally, I believe that his pride was hurt more than anything else because my friend is no novice to life and is at the age where one may feel that they have seen all of the many ways in which one can be played and they are now the teacher).  I listened intently to his story until he had satisfactorily expressed his frustrations to me.  And then I spoke;

   "Who has not been played at one time or another in their life"? It is, in fact, a part of life because there will always be those who will be looking for new ways to get something for free.  They may have beat you out of your hard earned money, they may have cleverly abducted your property, or maybe it was you who drove them around town all day in the hot, scorching sun as they ran their errands only to be given a crumpled $5.00 bill as you let them off at their home at the end of the day. And how about the "I'll pay you back when my Income Tax check comes"? Well, you know how that ends.  Oh, and don't forget the greatest robbery...matters of the heart.  So he/she took your love, (as you also took theirs). You became intimate, perhaps more than once, and the next thing you know you are no longer an item.  All of the plans the two of you spoke of before during the sex and pillow talk are now a fading memory.  But life does go on, doesn't it?

  Years ago I learned a saying that has helped me through many a game I had been involved in which is, "The best form of revenge is success".  Our lives are constantly filled with lessons learned; both good and bad, but if you live long enough you will find that the good and bad will balance out somehow, but only if you do not allow yourself to wallow in self-pity for getting played or allow yourself to become high-minded when you come out on top of a situation. Albert Camus said it best:  
"The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding."  (read it again until you can comprehend it).

  I am a much better person when I am doing good; regardless as to whether the same behavior is reciprocated unto me.  I feel sorry for people who are always angry, stressed, calculating, mistrusting of everyone and anything, mean. When we come to realize that we have brought nothing into this world and will not take any of it when we leave it we will re-evaluate how we conduct our daily business; both externally and internally.  

 So, my friend, let go of yester-year's pain, last winter's flop, that old ancient and brief relationship and stop revisiting the pain you felt from it on the people who love you today.  They had nothing to do with your old mistakes and neither should you any longer. 

  If we see with the proper eyes we will smile and find that we had a bit of fun along the way as we learned from life's lessons.

  Life is too short.

  I love you all,
  Dennis

Me & Al Green

  The other day I blogged about Seasons Of Change. I do not profess to speak my beliefs into anyone's life other than my own, (and experience has taught me that it is not always wise to speak what God has revealed to you about others to that person), but when it comes to myself, I can say all that I want. I'm still looking towards the wondrous and exceptional things that God is about to do in my life and I am mentally and physically preparing my body.  

I stepped out to worship this morning with purpose. Lately I have been longing for an opportunity to worship again with Bishop Al Green at his church, Full Gospel Tabernacle, here in Memphis. It has been months since I had been there. I told myself I wanted to belong to a church for God and hear the preached Word more than anything else. I've enjoyed every service I've ever attended at Full Gospel Tabernacle. Al Green's church is always lively with music, shouting, laughter and he doesn't pull punches with his preaching; but I always hesitated to join his church because I wanted to be certain I wasn't doing so because of his celebrity status and a few other things. So, over the months I have visited other churches and, (quite frankly), I have been so dissatisfied at what some folks call "worship" that I have often went to church through Joel Osteen on T.V.  

  I sought God on the drive across town as to what my lot should be. I felt that I needed to not only belong to a church that I liked but I also wanted to be somewhere God could utilize my gifts. I was greeted with love and kindness from several members as I entered the sanctuary. They told me how good it was to see me again and I felt It was almost as if I had not been away. It was then I decided I would make Full Gospel Tabernacle my home today.  I soon learned that Bishop Al Green would not be in attendance due to having a recent surgery.  I was not disappointed by this news for I was there for me and for what God had for my life and I was determined to proceed with my desire.  

  Subsequently, we had a glorious worship and praise service filled with anointed singing from the choir, a couple of soloist, and dancing in the spirit.  And just after the offering was collected the church was surprised by the appearance of Bishop Al Green who later confessed from the pulpit that God told him to "get dressed and go serve those folks communion". The worship continued.

  I went forward as Bishop Green announced that the doors of the church were open. I gave my name to the sister who came over to record my name. After praying for two women who came behind me he looked over my way and said to the recorder, "And what's going on here"? She read him my name from the tablet and he said, "I know who he is. I got his CD in my car". (I confess, I was both honored and humbled), He then shook my hand tightly and welcomed me into the church body after saying in a playful, rhyming tone, "Doctor Spain don't bring me no pain". I, and others, laughed out loud at this.  I will also be joining the choir this Thursday.

  "This is my season for grace and favor. This is my season to reap what I have sown."
  - (It's Working) William Murphy

  I love you all,
  Dennis
  

    

Seasons Of Change

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me lay an invincible summer" 

-Albert Camus

  Every so often I can feel it more intensely than I can at other intervals. I'm speaking of the change of season.  I liken the feeling as to when the moon is closest to the earth; a condition known as apogee.  I can almost taste the anticipation of something exciting and new about to occur.  I also know that I am not alone with this feeling of anticipation and that there are many who are also  sensing the winds of change in their own lives. I do not merely speak of things such as finding money on the ground or getting an unexpected phone call that lifts your spirits.  I'm not even referring to the promotion on the job or being hired for a new job altogether.  No, what I see in my inner man is purely a spiritual working that will coincide with the natural in ways not normally heard of in these days and times.  Unheard of because our communion, (communication), with our spiritual father is usually limited, contracted, specified, time-sensitive, self-imposing and short sighted.  Such is the nature of all prayer that is not guided by our spirit man.

"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words".
Romans 8:26 (NLT)

  It appears that God has given me a theme for this year which is simply "Life is too short".  I cannot allow myself to become complacent and satisfied with living a mediocre life. Recently I have been reminded of my talents by a good friend.  "Mr. Spain, do you even know who you are?", I was asked.  Since then I have been seriously meditating and searching for more of me than meets the eye.  

  Perhaps you could/should ask yourself the same questions I have asked of myself. 

• Why must my dreams be lived out through the lives of others in movies, music, reality shows or even those neighbors across the street?
•  What prevents me from seeing the world, experiencing strange and exotic lands and people and dining in the greatest restaurants?
• Who said that I had to be relegated to a life of work, work, and more work with nothing to look forward to but more work?
• Just because I am ill/handicapped/have high blood pressure/suffer from diabetes/have aches in my bones/can't see well while driving at night/am not as sexually active as I would like to be/struggling with being too thin or too heavy; does this mean that I am unable to change these things about myself and become better than I ever have been before?

  My friends, as it has always been so it still is today; many of our answers to our questions are found when we go to that quiet space for the answers which cannot be given by any person speaking in his/her natural mind. The old folks called it the Secret Closet. It could literally be that, or you could hop in your car all by yourself and just ride. Perhaps you have the luxury of sitting on a tranquil beach or take a long stroll in the cool of the evening.  Whether at work or home or play; you must find your secret place; devoid of all distractions and demands from the outside world, friends and family. I promise you that if you do this you will find your purpose through Him. You will also discover that your burdens will become much lighter and your inner peace will increase.
  Now, the question is "will you have the courage and the faith to do what you know must be done after learning what it is you must do?" We are such creatures of habit and are not easily persuaded to change. So for this, some may need a strong, spiritual partner/friend along the way.

  Much more greater things to come.
  I love you all,
  Dennis
  

  

Remembering Carol

 

"One of the most beautiful qualities of true 
friendship is to understand and to be understood".

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Many years ago I worked at several VA hospitals after retiring from the Army and going to college for my Social Worker degree.  During the course of those years I met a multitude of great people who also worked there. It didn't matter to me wether a person was black, white, Asian, Hispanic; we all were just people and for the most part, we got along well. But, it also depended on what region you were in; and believe me, people are different according to what part of the country you are in. 

  I wanted to share a personal Facebook message between myself and a young lady I had the pleasure of working with in Louisville, KY. her name: Carol Graf, the most hardcore Louisville Cardinal fan I have ever met. These were written in 2011. Please read to the end. 

• Carol Graf

  
  

  Dearest Dennis: I wanted to tell you that I read your blogs every time you post. Every time I read them I am totally amazed at your writing talent. It is so impressive. You are so inspirational and although you are such a spiritual man, your messages do not focus totally on that. You have such a nice way of incorporating your beliefs and the every day aspects of life. I look forward to reading them. You are such a talented man. I truly miss you Dennis. I enjoyed our daily encounters at work so much. I feel so blessed that you came into my life. I love you my friend.

  Carol
• 8 March 2011
• 

  08/03/2011 10:06
  

  Dennis Earl Spain
  

  
  
  

  My dearest carol, It is always so good to hear from you. I appreciate your kind words. I think of you always and I will always consider you to be a true friend. Have a most grand day. I still plan to visit you. Dennis
• 21 April 2011
• 

  21/04/2011 06:38
  

  Dennis Earl Spain
  

  
  
  

  Hi Carol. I am still among the living. I miss you and I pray for you daily. Love you always.
• 22 April 2011
• 22/04/2011 18:59
  

  Carol GrafDearest Dennis:
  

  I am so sorry that I have neglected you, my friend. Sometimes, I work so many hours at work and I just come home, look at FB for a minute and then get off. But, I do read your blogs every day. They are inspirational to me, but sometimes they sadden me because I sense that you are having a hard time. So, I am going to give you my numbers, and if you want to or need to, you give me a call. Even if you just want to talk about nothing at all, it would be my pleasure to listen. I am doing well, just working too much. I still come home to my four-legged best friend every day. I saw Eddrenna yesterday and asked about you. I told her you needed to come volunteer for a few days a week. So, my apologies again to you for not keeping in touch. I promise I will be more mindful of that. My cell phone number is 693-####; my home number is 333-####. You call any time, day or night....I mean it.

  I hope you and your family has a wonderful Easter. Love you and miss you my friend,

  Carol
• 24 April 2011
• 

  24/04/2011 08:31
  

  Dennis Earl Spain
  

  
  
  

  Hi Carol. Here's a big hug for you. Kisses, too.
• 

  24/04/2011 09:56
  

  Carol Graf
  

  
  
  

  right back to you my man!
• 11 August 2011
• 

  11/08/2011 16:13
  

  Dennis Earl Spain
  

  
  
  

  Hi Carol. Marlyce's oldest daughter has died. Keep her in prayer.

  Carol died shortly after this series of messages.  Unbeknownst to her or her doctors, she had developed cancer. I cannot speculate as to what type of cancer it was but it took her quickly. Everyone was in shock. Carol always joked with me and would say, "If I was into men, you would be just my type"; and then we would laugh out loud. She was the sweetest person.  After Carol passed away I was inclined to send one last message to her Facebook page.

 

Dennis Earl Spainposted to‎Carol Graf

15 October 2011

Carol, We didn't get a chance to talk again after I left Louisville but we certainly had good times in the Business Office together with all of the others. You were the glue that held us all together. Your sense of humor was unmatched and I will personally miss the love in your eyes and the hugs I received from you whenever we met. I lost my breath when I learned that you had gone to be with God, but I will smile each time I look at the stars at night. I will miss you and love you always, my dearest friend.

Love your friends while it is day.
I love you all, 
Dennis

1

Goodbye Stephanie

  

Today I worked hard. It was extremely hot today; 90 degrees, to be exact. We had quite a deluge of rain last week and my lawn had sprung to an unacceptable height.  I finally whipped up the nerve to go and tackle it at around 1:30 this afternoon.  Our home sits on nearly an acre of land and this is when I truly appreciate investing in a riding mower some years ago.  I toiled for hours, it seemed.  It was a good feeling, getting dirty and sweaty. I cut and I trimmed and I hedged and I raked and soon it was over.  man, I wondered why I decided to live in a home with such a large yard.  

  As I was winding up from my labour, my wife had come home. She came to the back yard where I was working with a bottle of cold water in her hand.  She told me some news she had just learned from a Facebook post.  "Do you remember Stephanie"? Stephanie was a young woman in Louisville, Kentucky who worked at the YMCA after school program where David attended when my wife and I both worked for the VA hospital there.  "She died in her sleep last night", she said suddenly and with disbelief.  A few years ago when we lived in Kentucky Stephanie's oldest son, (he was about 15), fell into a coma while playing one day. She refused to let him die and had him placed in a facility where he could be looked after. She had such hopes that he would someday awaken. What a burden that must be on a mother's heart.

  I froze for an instant; as if that would help me better understand what I had just heard.  Suddenly the tiredness from working on my lawn dissipated. I had no more thoughts of things to complain about.  In fact, I was happy to have had the strength to complete my tasks. 

 Stephanie was gone; leaving behind a young son, a husband and many friends and family.

  After hearing this news I concluded that there was absolutely nothing bad about my personal day today. I realized that even in sadness I have life and even in sickness and pain I have breath.  I have my loved ones to see, touch and speak to.  The old adage which recants "Life is too short" is more true than we sometimes give it credit.

  Love everyone.
  I love you all,
  Dennis

Thoughts On The 13th

 It's Friday night; Friday the 13th to be exact.  I'm not accustomed to superstition so this date has never troubled me.  David and I had an extremely productive day. I love driving my Dodge Challenger, as some of you know, so I am almost always willing to take a drive.  Since David is out of school for the Summer, I make it a point to involve him in my daily goings-on.  Tomorrow is Father's Day but I have nothing special planned. My wife keeps asking me what I want as a gift and what special activity do I wish to do. I can think of absolutely nothing.  I am very blessed to actually be able to say, "I have everything I want". 

  I am aware of nearly every minute of my day. I focus in on the little things and I cherish them. Anything from time spent with my family to a text or Facebook message from one of my friends is usually what makes my day in a massive way.  

  I know health care at VA hospitals are in the news lately because of long and fictitious waiting list for Veterans.  Being one of those Veterans I can attest that much of this is very true.  About a week ago my back injury, (brought on by an injury during my Army career), flared up very badly; so much to the point that I could not attain a comfortable position standing or lying down. Long story short; I went to my provider at my clinic, provider wasn't in so I saw a nurses, nurse had my blood drawn, asked me a battery of questions, promised me that I'd be seen by another provider who was present,  sent me to the waiting room, called me back in her office an hour later, and then told me to go get X-Rays at the main hospital.  And all of that without anyone so much as laying a finger on me to examine me.

  I went to the VA hospital the next morning to take the X-Rays. After being fumbled over in the X-Ray room by an intern who had much trouble operating the equipment, I was told to go home. "When will I know the results of my X-Ray", I asked.  "Oh, we'll call you in about 3-4 weeks", the technician said.  My wife was with me and she said, "We're going to the emergency room". After an hour more of waiting I finally saw a physician and complained to her that I have never been examined.  She uttered some words in defense of the caretakers before me and, almost reluctantly, began to examine me. 

  I was given some Motrin and told to go home. They said it was only muscle spasms.

  I thank God that I am still alive.
  Dennis