Saying Good-bye To Pat West

 

 

 

To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
~Thomas Campbell

 

 

  I was on the phone Thursday night talking to a friend in North Carolina when on a whim I happened to ask about the status of an old friend, Pat West, who we grew up with in Fayetteville. "Pat West recently died", was the reply. I was speechless for a second or two before I was able to enquire further. I learned that the funeral would be the coming Saturday at 1:00 PM. I immediately had to say good-bye on the phone so that I could think things through.

 

  Pat West was much more than someone I casually knew; she was family. She and my older sister, Joyce, were good friends and when we moved to the "White House" at the back end of Hollywood Heights Pat West just so happened to live a few houses away on the same street. Our mother had passed away many years ago and we had become accustomed to frequent moves from Fort Bragg, Fayetteville, and Spring Lake. The white house was an American style home which had at least three bedrooms, white siding, and a silver 250 gallon propane gas tank in the back yard which I was always in fear of it exploding. All of our previous homes had been brick ones, (with the exception of a trailer home we resided in while living in Spring lake).  I think I can safely speak on behalf of my siblings when I say that the thought of moving into the white house was embarrassing and humiliating. Had our family's socioeconomic status deteriorated to such a level? 

 

  My disdain was short-lived. What seemed to be a decrepit old house turned out to be a meeting place for so many warm and loving friends. Other than us, people in the neighborhood did not see our home as "that old white house", but rather as "the home of the Spain's". It was a place where me and my brothers and sisters would often sit around and vow to have complete and prosperous lives for our own children. (What thoughts for children to be having; but that's where we were). Our photo albums contain more pictures in the white house than any other home we lived in.

 

 Today the white house has been long torn down. Ironically, that house where Pat West spent many days inside with us; helping me and the twins rehearse our music and helping to choreograph our dance moves, hanging out with our sister, Joyce, and much more; now in its place stands a youth center/church which the repast for Pat West was held. Pat gathered in our home with us one final time.  

 

 

 "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.

 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord".
-------------Romans 8:37-39

 

Rest In Peace, Pat.

I love you all,

Dennis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of Ducks And Such

 

 

“Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word.”
― George R.R. Martin    

 

 

 Every so often a situation occurs that literally divides our nation. The issue can be so volatile that it breaches races, political affiliation, and even long term friendships. If anyone has watched television over the last several days I think we will all agree that the "Duck Dynasty's" Phil Robertson has accomplished such a division because of his inflammatory comments in a recent GQ magazine interview. In the interview Robertson, (who claims to be an evangelical preacher), expressed his beliefs against homosexuality and a host of other carnal acts. Of course, he backed his words up by semi-quoting from the Bible. And as if that wasn't enough, Mr. Robertson went on to say how blacks were "happier" working in the cotton fields and singing and that they were better off before the Civil Rights movement. (Even now as I type this I can't believe this was actually said in this day and age). 

 

  Update: It has been nearly 30 minutes since I began this blog but I was interrupted, (in a good way), by a telephone call from a dear friend in Kentucky. She is a middle-age white woman with whom I worked with while employed with the VA in Louisville. She is, and has always been, a unique woman and friend and she has visited our home and kept in touch via birthday and Christmas cards.

 

  I say the interruption was a good one because I was so livid; no, I was incensed with all the Duck Dynasty controversy and I was prepared to rant on about it. However; I am so glad God knows what we need and when we need it. She and I talked about our families, retirement life and of course, the Duck mess. She said that she simply turns the channel when that controversy comes on because all it does is bring you down.  "Besides", she continued, "they are just a bunch of rednecks." My anger was immediately diffused.

 

  It is well known and documented that America has a horrible problem with racism. I really learned this to be true when I joined the military. But I do not attempt to go on a crusade to convert the haters into "lovers of all men." I had to learn that this was not  even possible from the pulpit. Today I just take my own small piece of the world and do the best I can with the few relationships I have.

 

  I pray for a swift end to this Duck Dynasty mess and even more so that true friendships will not become a casualty of this war.

 

  God bless,

   Dennis

 

 

 

A Nostalgic Night Of Song And Dance

Music is my religion

-Jimi Hendrix

 



  The days have been cold and windy as of late. I have been partial to summer, as opposed to winter, for as long as I can remember. It's no wonder that I do not look forward to too many activities outside of the comforts of my home during the winter months. However; when I learned of a certain concert coming to town from my wife I must admit that I was very much interested. Normally I shy away from events which accommodate large amounts of people, but to hear that Bobby Womack, The Isley Brothers and Frankie Beverly & Maze were coming to town caused me to set aside my personal idiosyncrasies. My wife does not share my proclivity to R & B music but my sister, Cynthia, was more than willing to attend the event with me. Preparations were quickly made. 

  The venue was excellent. There was seating; as opposed to standing room only, and the booths inside the concert hallways provided foods such as Philly cheese steaks, burgers, chicken tenders and fries, popcorn and Nachos. The beverages were also a variety ranging from bottled water to beer and mixed drinks.

  Before the program began there was the show of concert participants such as men who wore floor length fur coats with matching hats, women with glistening, skin-tight outfits, and couples who adorned themselves in matching outfits. Among the sea of 8,000 black and white faces was one common thread; joy and happiness. Everyone appeared to anxiously await the melodic machinations that were soon to occur that evening.

  I will omit much so as to shorten this blog, but I will say that the plethora of emotions which flooded my soul from the singing of each of the acts were overwhelming. I saw my own father strut across the stage as Bobby Womack belted out such tunes as "Stop On By", "If You Think You're Lonely Now" and Harry Hippie". The Isley brothers presented the audience with every top ten hit from "Shout", "Who's That lady", "Atlantis", "Between The Sheets" and much, much more. To add to their show were a bevy of beautiful female dancers who made you feel worthy of such a great show. And finally, Frankie Beverly & Maze took their time and serenaded us with their timeless classics. 

  My sister and I did not need the aid of any alcoholic drink to cause us to enjoy the program. We needed to merely listen to the music and glance out across the arena and see the multitudes of people dancing in their seats and in the aisles to feel the enjoyment many were feeling along with us.  My sister is a huge Maze fan and could not help but call me out to Cha-cha with her during on of their tunes. There was an aged couple who were sitting next to me that could not resist the lure of the smooth sounds of Maze and suddenly found themselves swing dancing in the aisle. And of course, someone initiated an Electric Slide dance which had me and my sister eagerly joining in with a host of other attendees. Between acts, the MC said "Somebody make some noise" and I was tickled with delight as my sister hollered out "noise". It was a time when I wished that all of my dearest friends and family could be there with me.

  Both Bobby Womack, Frankie Beverly and Ron Isley spoke of friends who were no longer with us; Whitney Houston, Marvin Gay, Luther Vandross, and more; while simultaneously I remembered those in my own life such as my parents, early years with my siblings, childhood friends, military buddies and many others who were no longer here to enjoy and hear such historic music. I decided right then and there that I would enjoy this music for them; that I would be their eyes and ears, and that I would help the legacy continue on.

  Life is indeed short. We must all strive to make every second count for something. I am thankful for being allowed to experience such history.

  I love you all,
  Dennis

A Parting And A Coming Together

"My family is my strength and my weakness".

-Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

  Family. Sometimes it is difficult for me to explain my family. We have been through so much together, (and apart), over the years. My family is not perfect, as some of yours may be. Over the years we have shared great times; as well as devastating moments such as the early loss of our mother, the economic and emotional hardships we endured afterwards, and the subsequent separations we experienced as we grew into adulthood.  I believe that each one of us has sat alone with our thoughts and wondered how we would have fared in life had our mother survived her illness. Would we all have gone to college? Would some of us have married at a young age or would we have even married that particular mate? Would we have become so independent at an early age or would we follow the paths of so many youth of today and stay under our parents roof well into adulthood?

  I stopped mulling over these type questions many years ago. I have long accepted my lot in life and have concluded that it is the will of God that I have taken the paths, (whether good or bad), that I was destined to take.  

  Recently I was blessed with the opportunity to see my twin brothers again after many months of non-communication. Without going into detail, I will simply say that the enemy had been successful in causing a breach in our relationship and until we were face-to-face we did not realize how we had been deceived. Sadly, it took the passing of our childhood friend, Winston's, mother, (Judith Nixon), to bring us together again. In many ways Mrs. Nixon had been like a mother to us as we were growing up and there was no way that we would not be able to attend her home going.  I view our recent reunion as mother Nixon's final charitable act towards us, and for this I am so very grateful. 

  As Winston and me and my brothers congregated and began to reminiscence I began to feel the resurgence of the special love that has been between us for years. Someone once said "funerals are not for the dead but for the living". I saw this to be so true as we talked and took pictures and laughed together.  My relationship with my brothers has always been a special one. I am thankful to God for allowing us to come together again in this life and disperse any evil intent to keep us apart.  

  There is still much work to be done concerning me and several other members of my family, but I will be faithful to believe that even those situations are already being worked on by God.  

  Sometimes it's so hard to walk through the storm but it is possible.

  I love you all.

  Dennis   

Don't Be So Cheap

"Do not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain; The worker is worthy of his wages".

1 Timothy 5:18

  I took my car to the car wash the other day. It was the type in which you had the option of getting a simple run through or "the works". I, of course, elected to get the full treatment for my car. I watched patiently as the attendants vacuumed my car prior to sending it through the automated wash. Later, as it came through the final dryer stage, I watched another attendant enter my car and drive it over to the final prep area and then run back to retrieve another car coming out of the wash tunnel. 

  It was at this time that I reached into my wallet and took out $2.00 in order to tip the attendant who would complete the final stages of the wash.  To be honest, I hesitated at the thought of even giving a tip because the full-service already had cost me $23.00.  I clenched my fist around the two dollars I held in my hand and convinced myself that this amount was "just fine".

  Minutes later a young man arrived at my car and began to get it ready for me to receive it. I stood by and watched with a deep satisfaction as he tended to my car as if it was his own. He was exceptionally meticulous as he cleaned the windows inside and out, wiped down the leather seats, polished the mirrors, and applied the coating material to my tires to make them shine.  As he continued to detail my car I decided to go back inside to the attendant who manned the cash register and I asked him to make change for a $20.00. I realized that the young man deserved more than a $2.00 tip and I gifted him with $10.00 as I left.

  Often we fail to follow the teaching that states "It is better to give than receive", (Acts 20:35). Having the ability to go shopping for clothes, to buy groceries on a regular basis or even to purchase items that we "want" and not necessarily need is a blessing within itself; but I have learned that I feel more joy in my heart whenever I "bless" another; especially when they are not expecting it. 

  I also believe that many do not give graciously, (such as generous tips to waiters in restaurants or money and other gifts to those who are obviously in need), is because these acts of kindness are not often reciprocated and one can easily sulk within himself and let that "human nature" take over that says "Well, what about them doing for me sometime?" Denying one's self is not always easy but it is necessary if we sincerely desire to show the light of God within us. 

  But this is what being a blessing is truly about, isn't it. I am blessed in the fact that I am able to live far better than I did as a child and that my family is well cared for. I love sending the random package to a friend or a family member who is not expecting anything at all.  Giving goes beyond merely paying tithes in church. Giving means nothing if we only give to those who are able to pay us back.

  How many people loose their blessings because they are only interested in what they can get out of this life for themselves? Can you remember when you were the type of friend who would say "If I've got ten dollars you have five of that? When we give out of faith and a pure heart we will find that our bucket will never run out of oil, (read 2 Kings chapter 4 regarding the prophet Elisha and the widow woman's oil). 

  Let's be salt, my friends. The world needs it badly.

  I love you all.

  Dennis

   

    

  

Saying Goodbye To Mother Nixon

"Into each life some rain must fall."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

 

  I received word this morning that mother Judith Nixon passed away last night. I am deeply hurt, but am also somewhat relieved that her pain is no more. 

 
  Mother Nixon had been in my life for as far back as I can remember. Me and my twin brothers were friends with her son, Winston, as children. Winston was one of those kids who immediately became family shortly after we met him. He was there shortly after my mother had died. His father was a career soldier and Mrs. Nixon was an educator. My brothers and I used to love spending the night over his house because Mrs. Nixon would cook great meals, (which we were not accustomed to having), and wash our clothes in her washing machine. We didn't have a washing machine at our home so we were relegated to hand washing our items in the bath tub. Also, food was always an issue at our home. We never had much. As fine as Winston and his family lived he would spend numerous days, and nights, at our home because we did so many things together such as singing, dancing, or just clowning around. I must confess that I secretly wished we would spend more time at his home; primarily because of mother Nixon.

 

  Mother Nixon was so kind and soft spoken. If she ever raised her voice I never knew it. She was strong on education and was so gentle and generous. It wasn't long after that I secretly desired to be her son. 

  Mother leaves behind her loving children; Wayne Winston, Isaac, Mia, Nicole and Nikki; as well as a host of beautiful grandchildren. My comfort comes in knowing that she is now in the loving arms of her husband, Clayvon, (who preceded her ten years ago), and with our Lord in glory.

   It has been said that some people pass through our lives merely to touch our hearts in specific ways. Mother Nixon was one of those such people in my life. I emulated her love for her children. I was motivated to do my best in the field of education. She inspired me to want to provide the best home setting for my own family. I miss her so much already.

  My prayers and hopes are now set towards her children and grandchildren. There is a huge hole left in their hearts and I wish I could hug each of them at this very moment. I know that there will be many endearing memories of mother Nixon for years to come.

  Thank you, Mother Nixon, for being such an influential part of my life.
  Dennis

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



It's What You Say

 

 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,And those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 18:21

New King James Version (NKJV)

  I was meditating on some things the other evening and that's when I discovered that I am at peace more at this juncture in my life than I have ever been. I have learned so much; experienced a great deal, suffered wrongs at the hands of "friends" and even have scars caused by my own hands. I've learned to never say "never" and I have seen miracles and have had visions and dreams that can only be attributed to a higher power.  

  I recall how earlier in my life, when I was going through my first divorce, how I was always financially destitute. I seemed to always be broke due to having to fulfill my legal obligations and manage my own needs. I recall how one day I simply told God that I never wanted to be broke again.  There were times when all I had in my wallet was a single dollar bill; but I wasn't broke. That's when I began to experience the power of the very words we speak.  It didn't only stop with that but I eventually learned to "control" my environment by adhering to sage advice concerning the avoidance of bad behavior distancing myself from people who are habitually negative, toxic, untruthful and consistently immoral. Do I still make mistakes? I certainly do, but I am able to recover from them more quickly these days. Sometimes it's as simple as knowing that you can't have your cake and eat it, too.  Even habitual characteristics that one has grown up with can be deleted from our lives. As they say in Texas, "You have to rise above your raising". 

  

"If we are unfaithful, He abides faithful, for He cannot deny Himself."

2 Timothy 2:13 

 

  I do not have the luxury to lie awake at night worrying about whether I and my family will eat next month or have a roof over our heads. I do believe that God's eyes are on the sparrow and he will do just what he said he would do which is to watch out for His children and supply our every need. To those who find no belief in God; this message will not assuage your worries about tomorrow. For those who know of God's faithfulness we will gain empowerment and courage to outlast even this debacle.  Remain positive in the absence of light, my friends. See things as they should be and not as they appear to be. Have faith in spite of what your natural situation tells you.  Tell that mountain to get out of your way!

  I wish you peace, success and love.
  Dennis