"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother"
-Khalil Gibran
This week has been difficult for so many reasons. Normally I try not to focus on myself too much, but sometimes it cannot be avoided. Several times this week my heart and mind was attuned to the still, small voice of God. It present while I was driving my car, when I was shopping, when I was with my family, when I was happy and even when I became sad or upset. This morning I purposely put my faith into action like I have not done in quite some time.
In my flesh, I am reminded of the many sweet things life has brought to me such as good health. Aside from the aches and pains I have developed from my military service I am still very much happy. I have good friends, loving family members and security. I am thankful for having had loving parents who chose to let me be born.
On the other hand, in my spirit, I am reminded of the hope of another life; one without pain and suffering, without malice or despair, without hurt and tears, without pain and where we are told we shall never grow old.
These things I have been taught since I was a child, but let me tell you that holding onto these beliefs has not always been easy for me; and still every now and then I struggle to hold on. We are naturally drawn towards things that make us smile and things that make us feel good. It is during those times we are ever mindful of how good and faithful God is. But then there comes a time when we are lonely, ostracized mistreated by those who said that they loved us, suffering in our bodies because of some relentless sickness or disease, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, divorce, bankruptcy or the repossession of a house or automobile. Although we may recall the Bible verse which tells us "but mankind is born unto trouble, as surely as sparks fly upward" (Job 5:7) that still is not enough to assuage the anguish we feel when trials come into our life.
In my "listening" on this week the popular theme seems to be that of encouragement. Encouragement to step out on faith. Am I the only one who can hear the inward voice of God urging me to stop dying slowly and to trust Him as never before? It's as if He is saying "Go get your blessing". I know you can feel it in your own spirit.
When I was a young man I had the greatest of dreams and aspirations for my life and when I came to know God my hopes and dreams became astronomical. There was nothing I could not do if I truly put my mind to it. I could care less as to who would tell me that my desires were not attainable. I wasn't deterred about such things as not having enough education or enough money or how many others did not achieve what I was seeking after or what color my skin was because I was seeking and believing God for ME. There is much to be said about youth; for when we are young it is so easy to believe in "impossible" things but as we grow older the cares of this life and our belief that it is solely up to us to make things happen in our life and life's constant distractions lessen our connection with the supernatural that surrounds us each day. There comes a time when we must forsake our hinderances and go back to that wilderness, meditate and pray and seek that source which we knew so intimately as children. He is, after all, that same God.
Woe unto he/she who sits upon the porch in their old age and wishes they had done things differently.
Today I am stepping forward where I see no floor. I am believing that He will make His will to be made known in my life. I want to trust Him as I did when I was a child; all the while remembering that His thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are far above my own.
There is so much more to say, but I will close this dialogue for now.
I love you all,
Dennis
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