The Conversation

"Conversation should touch on everything, but should concentrate itself on nothing"    -Oscar Wilde

This morning I received a call from a friend whom I had not heard from for many months.  I slept in because I stayed up late the night prior to watch a basketball game. I was not upset by being awakened by the call because he is one of my few true friends who never brings me gossip, ridicule, judgement or untruths. In fact, he is also one who is not afraid to openly discuss deep things and opinions I may share with him; regardless if he agrees with them or not. We spoke of many things and caught up on lost time. At one point he said; "Dennis, I read your blogs and sometimes they encourage me and entertain me, but I was wondering how are you really"? I thanked him for imbibing in my inward ruminations and thought about his question for a few seconds.  I explained to him that my blogs were my way of providing self-therapy and that because I have so much time alone and am always so introspective, blogging helps me to release tension, meditate on a variety of subjects, and share my experiences with others for the same purposes he said he received from them.    After the phone call I began to think on the conversation I just had with my friend. I looked inside myself and asked:  "Are all my days sunny and bright? Not hardly. Is my body always in tip-top shape and free of aches and pain? No, it is not. And do I sometimes feel alienated from certain friends and/or family members and alone; even when I am in a room full of people. Almost always." So exactly what is it that keeps me going everyday?  It's hope. Hope of an unexpected, but welcomed, phone call such as the one I received this morning.  Hope of getting a letter or a package in the mail that just makes my day. Hope that I will successfully conduct myself in a manner that is pleasing to God because if I please Him all other's opinions of me are moot.    It's exasperating to allow oneself to become preoccupied with external things.  it's one of the prayers I have asked of God for this New Year; to have the courage and conviction to act on releasing the deficiencies in my life and to take back what I have lost by force.  Not in the manner in which a thief or a bully seizes something that is not rightfully his, but by standing up and taking back anything and everything anyone has stolen from me which is rightfully mine.  I believe there is something each of us has lost and desire to get back?   Tomorrow is a new day. I will relish its arrival and keep my eyes and ears attuned to the little things; for it is in them we find our blessings. Thank you for the phone call, my friend. May your day be as blessed as you made mine. I love you all. Dennis