Early Morning Thoughts Of My Father

"A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be."

~Frank A. Clark

 

 

   I was awake at 11pm. I had gone to bed at 9pm and felt as if I had a long night of rest ahead of me. Not that I did anything too strenuous today, but I did speak to a couple of dear friends at length on the telephone. The conversations, as always, were fruitful and heartfelt. I thank God for placing such good people in my life. But now, I was eager for some sleep because of the busy day that lay before me. My thoughts were of my father as I tossed and turned restlessly in the bed. Sometimes I think on him heavier than usual, and I miss him. Have I told you of my father? If I did, I don't mind telling you again.

 

 My dad was a military man. He was not a very affectionate man towards his sons and even later in his life he was still uncomfortable with hugging. Men during my father's time, and before, did not deem it very manly to publicly display affection;however, that never stopped me from desiring it from him.  I'm glad cultures change. 

 

  I have so many memories of my dad, some good and some bad. For many years prior to his death I resented some of the things my siblings and I had to endure after our mother passed away at a young age. But those things I used to long for; a telephone in the house, a washing machine, food on a daily basis, a decent wardrobe for school, lunch money.  All of these things meant very little to me as I matured and had my own family. Out of all the times my father may have disappointed me he did not allow our family to be divided after the death of his wife; our mother. And for this most cavalier act I remain eternally grateful to him. Hardship is easier to endure when you have family with you.  

 

  I will always love my father for his hard, but true, lessons about life. He taught me that there was a time to be a child but I had to be a man when the time came; not when I was ready to grow up. He cut the apron string with one swift stroke; almost so fast that you barely had time to catch your breath. But that's how life comes at you; fast and unexpected.

 

  Towards the end his final days my father battled the lingering effects of an overindulgence of alcohol, a stoke, and a cancerous tumor which speedily carried him from our lives. I will always love him. I will always give him honour. I will forever thank him for giving me life when so many were deciding against having a large family because of the economy. I miss his preaching after he had a few drinks, his soulful renditions of Sam Cooke, Johnny Taylor and Brook Benton and Percy Sledge. And I can not forget his love of playing cards. (My dad knew he could not gamble, but he had fun).

 

  I think I'll be able to get a bit of sleep now. My heart has been warmed with thoughts of my father and a childhood past. I have so much to be thankful for.

 

  I love you all.

  Dennis

Choosing What To Love

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.
-1 John 2:15 (New Living Translation)

   It's awesome waking up to thoughts of God's blessings. Even during those times when everything around you may appear to give you no cause to rejoice, it's great to open one's eyes to His goodness that isn't always apparent in our lives.  I was reading Psalm 47 this morning and it spoke of how when God's people shout out to Him with the voice of triumph, (victory; an over comer's spirit), how He will show up for us.  What a comfort this scripture was to me.  Sometimes, in spite of all we attain by way of material possessions, we have a greater need within us than anything the world can provide.  let me explain:

  Earlier this morning I spoke at great length to another good friend here in the city.  We were discussing scripture and he related to me how a brother of his had become angry with him because he was telling some friends where his brother had come from, (financially and materialistically), in relation to where he is now.  He stated how he was taken aback at his brother's anger towards him because all he was doing was showing the goodness of God upon his brother's life.  He stated that his brother felt it to be an embarrassment for others to know of his poor, meager beginnings.

  To boast on where we came from in relation to where we are today is a true testimony to God and His awesomeness and there is nothing to be ashamed of at all. I often have told the story of my own impoverished beginnings and I am very proud to give God the glory for my present state. 

  There is absolutely nothing wrong with having money, cars, a nice home or an abundance of food and clothing. There is; however, much wrong with being in love with these things.  It is paradoxical to love the world and the things that are in it and love God at the same time. You can only love one or the other.

  The love of this world has caused families to split, relationships to fail, friendships to utterly disintegrate and provoked wars among our brothers and sisters, (James 4:1-3). It has caused those who were otherwise godly minded to become lost in their lust for fleshly, (material), things and disregard the things of the Spirit such as love, gentleness, and faith.    
 

"Change your thoughts and you change your world"

-Norman Vincent Peale

 

 

With Love,

Dennis

    

Making My Sunday

 

"Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!"

Psalm 95:2

 

 

    I went outside of my home to go to church last Sunday. Although the service was enlightening and I was glad for the fact that I had actually gotten out to go worship, still I don't go to church every Sunday these days. My love for God and all He has done, (and continues to do), for me has not diminished in the least, however; I come from an era when the most anticipated part of church service was not the performance of the choir or the music which, nowadays transitions between jazz and funk and sometimes a hook from a popular rapper.  It wasn't the middle-aged praise dancers twirling about barefoot in their nearly see-through chiffon gowns that motivated my attendance. In fact I am bold enough to say I believe many a brother, (or sister), losses sight of everything else that comes after witnessing the physically exerting undulations of these spiritual sirens.  (Help, Lord. Some of us in here are trying to live holy). 

 

  Even the time of offering was simple back in the day. Those who were going to give of their tithes and offering willingly will do so without the extra 20 minute coaxing from the pulpit or the deacons for that "twenty-five more dollars" please.  I've always believed that if God ordained a church, its continued existence was not based on offerings raised from Sunday School, Bible Study, choir rehearsal, building funds, YPWW, bake sales, chicken dinners, yard sales, evening service or business meetings.  I wonder if the churches that are guilty of taxing their members in such a way are even aware that such an act significantly dampens the Spirit of worship and giving among its members? But that's just my opinion.

 

No it's not!

 

  I have worshipped in a church in which we only collected tithes and offering at Sunday morning service, (without any additional coaxing), and everything the church ever needed was provided through these means and benevolent givings from members within and strangers outside of the church.

 

  (But I lose my place in my conversation). What I look forward to first and foremost in service is the preached Word of God. Sadly, we are immersed in so many distractions prior to the message that the intended impact is sometimes lost in the surrounding spiritual melee. We must allow God to come in when He wants to; needs to, and not according to our "order of service".    Can I get an Amen, somebody?

 

  I made my Sunday today by tuning my television into a very inspirational message, followed by a sweet barrage of Gospel music from the spiritual channel as I barbecued a great rack of ribs for today's dinner.

 

  I cannot advocate for anyone what is needed for me day in and day out. But I have learned that I must sometimes make my Sunday.

 

 Be blessed.

 Dennis

     

The Conversation

"Conversation should touch on everything, but should concentrate itself on nothing"    -Oscar Wilde

This morning I received a call from a friend whom I had not heard from for many months.  I slept in because I stayed up late the night prior to watch a basketball game. I was not upset by being awakened by the call because he is one of my few true friends who never brings me gossip, ridicule, judgement or untruths. In fact, he is also one who is not afraid to openly discuss deep things and opinions I may share with him; regardless if he agrees with them or not. We spoke of many things and caught up on lost time. At one point he said; "Dennis, I read your blogs and sometimes they encourage me and entertain me, but I was wondering how are you really"? I thanked him for imbibing in my inward ruminations and thought about his question for a few seconds.  I explained to him that my blogs were my way of providing self-therapy and that because I have so much time alone and am always so introspective, blogging helps me to release tension, meditate on a variety of subjects, and share my experiences with others for the same purposes he said he received from them.    After the phone call I began to think on the conversation I just had with my friend. I looked inside myself and asked:  "Are all my days sunny and bright? Not hardly. Is my body always in tip-top shape and free of aches and pain? No, it is not. And do I sometimes feel alienated from certain friends and/or family members and alone; even when I am in a room full of people. Almost always." So exactly what is it that keeps me going everyday?  It's hope. Hope of an unexpected, but welcomed, phone call such as the one I received this morning.  Hope of getting a letter or a package in the mail that just makes my day. Hope that I will successfully conduct myself in a manner that is pleasing to God because if I please Him all other's opinions of me are moot.    It's exasperating to allow oneself to become preoccupied with external things.  it's one of the prayers I have asked of God for this New Year; to have the courage and conviction to act on releasing the deficiencies in my life and to take back what I have lost by force.  Not in the manner in which a thief or a bully seizes something that is not rightfully his, but by standing up and taking back anything and everything anyone has stolen from me which is rightfully mine.  I believe there is something each of us has lost and desire to get back?   Tomorrow is a new day. I will relish its arrival and keep my eyes and ears attuned to the little things; for it is in them we find our blessings. Thank you for the phone call, my friend. May your day be as blessed as you made mine. I love you all. Dennis

Breaking Bread

 

It's been a somewhat chilly day today. Notwithstanding, there was still a need to leave the comfort of my warm bed and home to accomplish several tasks around the city.  I was most enlightened by the Veteran's group meeting this morning. It's comparable to sitting around with close family friends as we express personal stories, hurting situations, humorous anecdotes, and encouraging advice to one another.

  I intend to increase my reading beginning this evening. I must confess that a bevy of great television shows has caused me to be before the 1080p screen a bit more than usual.  Still, I am enjoying myself very much, but I am increasing being made aware of several Bible stories that I am going to study and read again. I don't do this for the purpose of correcting others. I have learned that it is "every man for himself" when it comes to behaving in any specific manner. I have enough on my hands striving to make it in myself.

  I'm pleased that most of my friends are faring well as I peruse their Facebook messages and status. True enough, some are having certain difficulties here and there, but I am certain that their slight difficulties will soon be overcome, just as my own will. It takes focus, but I ignore what life presents before my eyes and I see things as they should be. We are highly favored by God and He has given us the power to speak to our circumstances; whether physical, emotional or financial, and they will change. Let's all come back to the strong, unwavering faith we once knew. As technology and science progresses, faith in the impossible is quickly becoming an anachronism.

  As we break bread, both near and from afar, let us remember to pray for our brothers and sisters and petition our Father for their relief.

  I love you all.
  Dennis

 

Church Girls

  Church girls are the most vivacious creatures I have ever met.  Church girls lay low...they intentionally stand beneath the crowd, not desiring to be noticed. Church Girls are precious to a man. They have so much pent-up love that when they do give themselves to a man he is usually overwhelmed by her warmth and passion.

  Church girls never forget where they come from and what they have learned, by word or deed, they hold it true to heart.     Church Girls are so beautiful; both inside and out. They know just how far to go across the line to make a man make them his wife.  And good wives they make, I tell you.   Church girls never let a man forget about his Lord.  They don't come up in the church with their boobs hanging all out for every man to savor.  No, my friend. Church Girls have class!  And they smell good.  A Church Girl is one to die for.

  Church Girls can cook because they are the daughters who stayed in mamma's kitchen. They can keep a home clean because they have learned "cleanliness is next to godliness". And Church Girls like to have their man close. 

  "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

                                     Proverbs 31:30

 

I love you all.

Dennis

 

 

 

When They Ask Me...

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say."
 Bryant H. McGill

  I sat in a most pensive mood this morning. I saw my dear son off to school and even had it in me to drive the wife to work.  The ride home was quiet, but pleasant.  It must have been the cup of coffee I brewed with my new Keurig single-cup coffee brewer first thing this morning.  And now, I sit here in my man-cave typing this blog whilst listening to my CD, In My Father's House.   Each time I hear my music I am reminded of how good it is to do something in your life that you absolutely yearned to do.  I'm no Smokey Robinson, by no means, but I am thankful to have been able to record myself singing.

  The other day I had the opportunity to sit down and converse with an old friend. He, like me, is married with grown children. He somehow felt comfortable enough with me and began to share aspects about his life with me. I listened with interest and sincerity.

  "..I like being married", he whispered, " but sometimes I feel like I'm dying around here". And for nearly an hour he digressed about how he had learned to "not be himself" when he is in the company of others. The more I listened, the more eager I became to interrupt him so I could get a word in. About ten minutes later the opportunity arose and I spoke out.
 I remember how I began with "When they ask me", and proceeded to speak from my heart.

  When they ask me I'm going to talk to them about being real with yourself; about not becoming a chameleon and feel the need to adapt to the outside environment by changing your true color. (Think on this for a moment).

  When they ask me I'll tell them, "Heck no. I never feel guilty for taking some time to myself".  He hinted that his sex life had diminished greatly since being married.  I'm sorry to disappoint, but that part of the conversion will remain private and personal, but I will say that all is well.  

  Who are you when you are out and about? I believe that's what makes the world go 'round; the diversity of it's people; the truthfulness of it's inhabitants.

  I pray that you have a wonderful and enlightening day; and share it with someone.
 
 I love you all.
 Dennis