Jennifer

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."

Hebrews 13:1

  Several years ago I worked at the Veterans Hospital in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. I often refer to my years there as one of the pivotal times of my life for various reasons. There were many challenges at this facility, primarily due to some of the staff who had the "old ways of the South" ingrained in them, but in return for my trials I was blessed to receive some of the greatest friends one will ever know. I remain in contact with many of them even today.

  One of those dear friends was a woman named Jennifer. She was African American, stood about 5'4", and always had a pleasant demeanor. Jennifer worked for the facility's IT ,(Information Technology), service and some of my duties involved supplying pagers, cell phones and/or blackberries to members of my staff. Upon my first time meeting Jennifer, I was openly aware of her professionalism, kindness, knowledge, and ability to do her job well. She had the most gentle voice and I never heard her raise it; even if things weren't going as well as they should for her on the job. I remember when she was preparing to get married she asked if I would sing a song at her wedding. The song she requested was "Never would have made it". I confessed that I had heard the song but did not know the lyrics, (I actually did not care for the song personally), but agreed to learn it. The plan for me to sing at her wedding did not come to fruition, but still I was grateful to her for giving me the song to learn for it has become one of my favorite songs because of its lyrics and  the blessing it brings to others whenever I perform it. I even modified my CD and had it added as a selection.

  When I received the call from one of my friends at the Tuscaloosa VA earlier this month informing me of Jennifer's sudden hospitalization, I was torn inside because she was a true friend. She was one of those people who gave you light and peace and flowers without even trying to do so. She loved her family fiercely.

  I sincerely believe that at this moment Jennifer no longer knows pain; in fact, she is now whole and in the presence of the Lord and those who have proceeded her on the journey we all will make one day. I am thankful to God for allowing me to meet Jennifer, for by doing so she impacted a part of my life and spirit that somehow made me a little better as a person. Such is how I value all my relationships.

 My earnest prayers are now for those whose hearts are torn at the loss of such an angel.

 Let us love and cherish one another in this brief life.

 I love you all.

 Dennis

  

What Is Required Of A Leader

 "Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly." - James 3:1


  I woke up this morning to the sound of silence. I lay on my back for a minute and smiled and thanked God for another day of life. I never want to take my uprising for granted. I reached over to my night stand and grabbed my morning bottle of water, drank it, and laid back down for a few minutes contemplating the day.  At the time of this writing Rodney King, (of the 1992 LA riots), was found dead at the bottom of his swimming pool, Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky is on trial for the alleged sexual abuse of young boys, and the NBA Playoffs have the Miami Heat winning the series over the Oklahoma City Thunder 2-1.  There is so much more going on in the world today, (both locally and globally), that if one isn't careful they could find themselves in a state of deep despair concerning some of the issues surrounding us.
  This past Sunday, as I watched my pastor preach in church, it was evident to me of the difficulty he was having delivering the sermon. Having been in his shoes for many years, (as a pastor in Oklahoma for two years and later in Alaska), I could empathize with his struggle. It is written, "To whom much is given, much is required" and any man or woman who accepts the mantle of lording over God's people with the Word of God should be prepared to drink from its bitter cup firsthand. Without naming specific persons, most of us are very familiar with the accounts of religious leaders who chose to live the life of "Do as I say and not as I do". Needless to say, this attitude always ends in their downfall at some time or another. I will say one thing in defense of  these men and women who elect to accept the call to preach; Their biggest task is not preaching, but rather resisting the adoration and fame and power bestowed upon them by the members of their congregation(s).
  I knew of a young man some 20 plus years ago who took his young wife and two small children and joined a church. The young man was excited at the words spoken by the pastor and after a short time he and his wife would become close friends with him and would host him at their home whenever he was in town. Years later the young man learned that the pastor had not only been accepting the hospitality of his home, but of his young wife as well. Having been truly converted with the love of God, the young man was able to resist the urge to take matters into his own hands; however, he did report the incident to his church. Sadly, the church ostracized the young man, classified his young wife as a harlot, and concluded that their beloved pastor had been a victim of Jezebel's temptations. The young couple later divorced and the pastor and his church continued on as if nothing ever happened.
  There is much more to being a leader than many care to consider. Leaders, (whether in the church or on the job), are held to higher standards than the people they govern. Leaders do not take their positions for granted and do not abuse the power given to them or take advantage of the people they are meant to serve. Leaders are not allowed to to take home office supplies because they possess the key to the supply cabinet. Leaders are expected to follow regulations and not allow their positions to give them liberties not afforded to others. And most of all, leaders are expected to spend more time in prayer and meditation so as not to succumb to the many desires of their heart.
  Finally, I would like to encourage us all to consider ourselves leaders in some form or another. You may not lead a large church congregation or supervise an office full of people. You may not lead hundreds of soldiers on a daily basis or be in charge of a construction site. Perhaps you are a member of the congregation, a welder on the job, a typist for a firm, or a self-employed citizen. Whatever your position, someone is watching you at sometime and without realizing it, your actions and/or behavior could be the catalyst for that person to change their life for the better or influence them to delve into a dark and abyssmal lifestyle.  

The greatest power that a person possesses is the power to choose.
- J. Martin Kohe

  My fervent prayer is that we all will do a little better to love more sincerely, reject unusual adoration from others, be forever mindful that we, too, are but a hair away from becoming a CNN headline, and that we all have sinned and fell short of God's expectation of us at some point in our individual lives.

 I love you all.

 Dennis

Reflecting On Father's Day

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.”

Charles Wadsworth

   Father's Day is soon approaching.  Father's Day, (founded in 1910), is a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society. Over the years I have met many men who have displayed varying feelings about this unvarying holiday and it basically derives from their own personal experiences with fatherhood. I have written about my father in previous blogs and the relationship he and I shared. It was sometimes up, sometimes down, (as the old Gospel song says), but I was glad to be able to love him while he was alive and able to comprehend my love. Gabriel Garcia Marquez said "A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father". This statement is confirmed by family and also by friends who knew my father whenever they see a recent picture of me.  If I hear "Boy, Wilbert Spain spit you out" one more time...
  On Father's Day I always find a small window to reflect on my father. I don't dwell on his memory for too long; not because it pains me to do so, but because I do not harbor the father/son memories so eloquently spoken of in the Hallmark Cards  presented to fathers everywhere each year. For me, there were no fishing trips or playing catch in the back yard. My father wasn't on the sidelines rooting for me when I played in my first little league football game. Later in life, as music began to become dominant in my life, he never once witnessed one of my performances. Still, I sing one of his favorite songs, "A Change Is Gonna Come", with him in mind every time.

  "Becoming a father is easy enough, but being one is very rough" - Wilhem Busch

  If you are near my age, you realize that our fathers had to deal with many more societal ills than we could ever imagine. It must have been extremely difficult to try to be the example of strength and protection when you were being called "boy" and expected not to look another man in his eyes. Or to explain to your children why they had to go in the back entrance to an establishment to eat or shop, sit in movie theater balconies only, or watch their women give up their seat on the bus because a white man wanted to sit down.  Yet through all of this, many of our fathers still brought home the bacon, worked long and hard jobs for pennies, provided shelter for their families, fill the house with many children, and even found the time to socialize and have fun.  Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.  
  We now live in a time of blended families, broken or divorced marriages, (sometimes more than a few), and obliterated relationships between the parent and child.  For me, it is painful to lose all contact with an offspring because of differing opinions, lack of understanding, harbored animosity due to divorce, or unacceptable personality traits; but it happens. However; this is not an attempt to offer some sage advice to anyone because I can only govern my own self.
          "Nobody can bring you peace but yourself."- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
  Instead, I do pray that the many fathers who may have been misunderstood over the years for whatever reason, alienated from the lives of their children, or may have fallen short of providing the substance of their dreams for their loved ones, or perhaps have given all and more but only to have their children grow to believe that they contributed nothing to their well-being; I wish you peace. Jesus knows all about our sorrows.
   "A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or surrender his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox, (contradiction), they would understand the dilemma. " - Marlene Dietrich.
  I wish all fathers a Happy Father's Day.
  Dennis

Finding Your Super-ness

  It's raining fairly heavy this Wednesday morning but, nonetheless,  I still went for my morning walk. Although I had my umbrella I only put in about 20 minutes.  All-in-all, that still was enough time for me to reflect on my previous day. Usually my son, David, would attend Summer Camp but I strongly felt the need to have him spend the day with me on Tuesday. We did several things around town that were necessary but the real jewel of the day came when it was time for me to take him to see Sesame Street Live at a local downtown auditorium later that evening. David was excited about going and it was evident that he was going through the motions all day until time for the program. David is a healthy 14 years old but because of his autism he functions at an 8 or 9 year old level. Of course that's not in all things, (he reads, spells, counts money, is an A student and can operate electronics at a more advanced level than most adults), but when it comes to the simple joys of childhood he is very content. I personally love his choice of television programs and movies. I never have need to worry if he is watching programs that are far too explicit for a child because he simply has no interest in them. We, as parents, love for our children to be innocent and unsoiled from the many negative influences this world has to offer our children. David has succeeded in causing me to love the simple things in life and to enjoy his innocence as long as I can. I love it when he tells me that he loves me several times a day and that he likes to hold my hand whenever out in public. I don't concern myself with the looks I sometimes get from other people who may be judgemental by seeing two men holding hands because I have  buried their opinions a long time ago. Those who do recognize he is specical will sometimes approach me and relate their experience with their own special child in their lives.  Such was the case at the Sesame Street program with two women sitting in front of us who had a great deal of interaction with David. It was evident that they personally knew of his condition through some other child. I love my son with every fiber of my being. 
  The evening's the program centered on the muppet monster Super Grover losing his "Super-ness". For some reason, as he flew onto the stage to join the other characters he was unable to take flight again afterwards. This presented a huge dilemma for his boss, The Head Cheese, because there were people and situations throughout the performance that needed Grover's super abilities to help or correct their problem.  Because Super Grover had been rendered "powerless", the Head Cheese became very concerned because there was no one able to right the wrongs being perpetrated all about, but without hesitation, Elmo, Zoe, Telly and Rosita volunteered themselves to become super heroes in their own right and dubbed themselves the Fabulous Five, (the 5th member being a pet rock which belonged to Zoe). Needless to say, they saved the day, however; it was not through the use of laser beams, super speed, flight, magic rings, or even brute strength, but by merely correcting the wrongs through common sense, courage, proper hygiene, and proper diet.  They even succeeded in helping Grover find his "Super-ness" in the end by reminding him that he was "super" as long as he did the right things.
  Through a child's eyes I learned that we all sometimes lose our "Super-ness" because we stray from doing the right things and pick up habits and mannerisms that are not conducive to right living.  Oftentimes sickness and disease occurs in our bodies due to lack of proper rest or by consuming the wrong foods. Our environment can be destroyed because we do not stand up to the negative and destructive influences that someone else may bring into it. There are times when we only need to lend an unselfish helping hand to others in order to bring happiness and comfort to that individual. I guess the moral of this story is that we all must be willing to step up and step in to do whatever we can with what talents and abilities we have to make this world a better place. And if a pet rock can be a part of a winning team surely you can.
 I hope something was said here to inspire you to find your "Super-ness".
 Have a great day. I love you all.
 Dennis