My 54th Year

  On February 21 I reached my 54th year of life. It did not arrive with a bang nor did I suddenly feel as if I crossed some temporal plane into a deeper awareness. I simply was.
I was alive and still maintained the full articulation of my limbs; although not as agile as I did the year before.  I will be the last to complain as to any state I am in for I have seen both poverty and prosperity and will never boast about either. I did experience a mixture of emotions concerning my birthday before it actually occurred. I reflected on so many things such as family, friends, broken relationships, re-newed acquaintances, God's plan for me and my own desires for my life.  I eventually was able to shake off the creeping cloud of despair and even found it possible to let go of the disdain that was in my heart towards certain situations I had experienced (Trust me, this is a daily feat for I have seen some things in my short life).  If I can say anything about my present emotional state I will say that I am in love; in love with those who occupy this dwelling with me, in love with life which has taken me, (and continues to lead me), on a journey filled with lesson after lesson. I am blessed to be attached to others outside of my family of origin who are not ashamed to reciprocate their love because they have learned that we are all but a small part of God's larger plan. I receive an overwhelming love from both near and afar and I am so blessed to have recognized this fact before I am in the thralls of old age and  impotence.
  Wonderful and fantastic things are occurring daily and simultaneously all around us. What a pity to be so congested with hatred, envy, bitterness and strife that this beauty is missed. When I was a child I sang a song in chorus which said, 

"No man is an island, no man walks alone. Each man's joy is joy to me, each man's grief is my own".  

  I cannot begin to express how I pray for an abundance; not that I may splurge it upon my own self, but so that I may bring an end to so much of the worry, pain,and suffering of so many of the Lord's children, my heartfelt friends, who are sincerely in need. I believe that within the "Body of Christ" we have everything we need. There should be no need for any of us to be in want or need because we should be our brother's keeper. I believe that the reason many of us do not give is because we have been jilted or taken advantage of by someone at sometime and we believe that others who approach us are only feigning hardship. I, too, have fallen into this mode of thinking at one time or another, but I have renewed my vow to God to try to be the best that I can to His people. I'm no fool, either. I also have asked Him to give me an eye to spot deception.

  There remains a need to confirm our faith daily and we can do this by being strong in our convictions, to be real in our friendships, and by not allowing ourselves to be so "holy" that we become a doormat for all who desire to spit on us again and again. Even Jesus knew when enough was enough. (read John 2:13-16).

  My 54th year had a great beginning. I have just who and what I am supposed to have and all that is to come will be brought in God's own time.

 Have a blessed and exciting weekend.

 Dennis





Whitney

Dreams are real as long as they last. Can we say more of life?

-Henry Ellis

  We say good-bye to another musical icon, Whitney Houston. Whitney was found dead in her hotel bath tub this weekend. Reasons for her death are still under investigation; however, that has not stopped the rumors from piercing the airways. Whatever the reason for our dear sister's death we should intentionally focus on her contribution to the music industry, and yes, to the impact of her music in our own lives. If we were to be honest we would confess that some of our most amorous evenings were consummated while Whitney crooned in the background. And which of us hasn't told that special one that I am "Saving all my love for you"?  And my sister, when you beat out the competition and were selected for that promotion or when you successfully raised your children singlehandedly and sent them to college, did you not proudly chant "I'm every Woman"? But Whitney did more than merely sing and perform world-wide. She became the mold in which so many of today's female artists were cast from. Whitney proved that one's dreams can come true if you only believe that you have what it takes to bring that dream to fruition. 

  Like Michael Jackson, James Brown, Teddy Pendergrass, Etta James and so many others who preceeded her in death, Whitney's life was not immune to scandal. And like all of us, she had her shortcomings which, at times, seemed to overshadow her successes. Just yesterday the tabloids were ablaze with reports of her drug abuse, drug rehab, her tumultuous marriage to singer Bobby Brown, and her violent mood swings. Today the world is singing her praises.  I cannot help but to wonder if these same praises would have been Whitney's saving grace before her astounding death.  (Now I am speculating), I can't help but wonder, did Whitney succoumb to a moment of depression for not having been a focal point of the Grammy affair? Or did she relaspe as some are guessing? And maybe, just maybe Whitney merely died. 

  Soon we will know the truth or perhaps we will never know. All I ask of myself is that I don't forget that she has left behind a heavily traumatized daughter, a grieving mother, a devastated ex-husband, and a myriad of family, friends, and fans who will always love Whitney...regardless.

 Ironically, the last song Whitney sang on stage with singer Kelly Price at the pre-Grammy party was "Jesus Loves Me".

God bless you, Whitney, and may your rest from your wars.

 Dennis     

My Butterfly Life

   "But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people."
     -Psalms 22:6

 At the time of this writing I have yet to assign a title to this blog. I'll just type until the idea strikes me.  It's strange how the weather can oftentimes affect one's attitude. I am not a fan of the cold; however, I do like the rain. Summer is my best season, by far. Even though I sweat easily, it beats a shiver any day. I've been keeping myself very busy as of late. I can always find some way to exercise my body and my mind daily.  I am slowly losing weight in certain desired areas, but not as rapidly as I would like. I will be seeing another birthday soon and I count it a blessing to have been alive this far.  I have no true complaints concerning my life. Sometimes when things are going well for people they might unknowingly subscribe to destructive thoughts; also known as Self-fulfilling Prophecy.  Socialogist Robert K. Merton describes it as thus: The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behaviour which makes the original false conception come 'true'.  In other words, people will cause themselves to believe that their good fortune, their happiness, their good health- is too good to be true so they will begin to behave in ways that will cause their present state to be altered; usually to the very thing they fear. 
  I have had relationships and encounters that have began as seemingly wonderful but metamorphosed into regrets. When I think back on some of them I cannot help but utter thanks to God for not allowing me to remain in that place. 
  If I boast about anything that I have obtained or any status I have attained I give all glory to God for allowing it to be so for me, and I feel completely good about it. (I know there are many of you who can testify to some of the same things I have been through). I used to be sad and embarrased about my impoverished beginnings. I've written about my past several times and I smile with a heartfelt warmth at the many ways that only God provided for me and/or my family.  This is why I deeply love so many of my friends God has brought into my life.  These are people who once knew what it was to be without the basest of needs and although they are faring much better today, they never forget where they came from. These are people who are not high-minded nor do they walk about with an attitude of superiority. These very same people strive to live right by others and are wise enough to realize that God always has their backs when ever they are wronged by others. I can talk to them about nearly everything; my hurts, my joys, my political opinions, my dreams; and they are never harsh towards me nor do they shut me out if they disagree with me. 
  Everyone should have such friends as these God has given me. They have made me feel complete in my being and my life is full in so many ways because of them. I was once a worm; a caterpillar. I was looked on with disdain by many but now I am flying high.  Today, this very hour, I pray God's abundant blessings upon all of my friends and all those they love.  Let us all pray for one another in love.
Have a great day.
Dennis