My eyes opened at 4:20 A.M. I knew that my slumber was over but still I attempted to coerce myself back to sleep. I made a quick trip to the bathroom but still, even that did not help me return to sleep. I attempted to extract some conversation from my wife but she only sighed heavily, wrapped her arms around my torso, (which I understood meant "be quiet") and was soon lost in her dreams again; leaving me wide awake and alone with my thoughts. So I just lay there and I wrote in my mind.
Much has transpired over the past few days. Yes, I meant to say days. I always said that it doesn't take God all day to work and I have been viewing so many of His wonders at an exponentially high rate recently. There are some things I would love to share with you, my friends, but they are acts that should be kept close to my chest because they were things that were done in secret and I do not wish to be rewarded openly by man's praise. I will tell you that I have had the opportunity to meet some people whom I know were placed directly in my path by none but God, alone. And it's not always about what you can receive, but more importantly as to what you can give. I have been as a child in a candy store watching my own progression; I do not want to label it as a higher level, there is too much of that talk talk going around and it has somewhat lessened the impact of what I am currently experiencing in my life. Instead, I will classify it as a new direction.
As I lay in bed awake I recalled the young married couple I knew in which the wife was a very promiscuous woman. She was deeply immersed in her world of adultery and did not have the power, (nor the desire), to rid herself of her lascivious demons. To compound the situation, she knew she had a husband who loved her and adored her, but alas, she continued in her secret ways that are too painful and shameful to recant. In her vain attempt to assuage her guilt she sought to "buy" God's grace by giving to her church more than she and her poor husband could afford. Whenever her husband received a bonus from his job or they received a tax return or even their proceeds from something as simple as a yard sale she would give it all to the church. This proved most futile for her scandalous acts eventually led to separation, sickness, disease, and finally death. You cannot purchase grace because it is freely given.
Have you ever wanted to obtain perfection even as you lived in a body of imperfection? The beauty of it all is that God does not expect us to be blameless; without a spot or blemish, in this life. That expectation comes from man and man alone. We make our lives so unbearably hard by placing unobtainable standards on ourselves, and when we fall short of the mark we drown ourselves in woes and tears and the assassination of our character. Stop this madness and live! Realize that you are a part of God's tapestry and therefore you are never alone, never far from help, always in sight. So many of you have sparked such love in my heart just this week alone. I've spoken to several of you on the telephone; many via email, text or Facebook message. One thing is constant; I am glad to be a part of your life in this life. You are doing some very good things out there; don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You are making great strides in becoming a better you every day and your gifts often spill over into the lives of others, even as you are unaware. It's time to celebrate the goodness that you bring. Enough has been said about your shortcomings. Whatever is ailing you, whatever is troubling you-shake it off and drive on to make this day, and all of your days, great.
I love you all.
Dennis
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