A Word in the Dark

                                      "Be still and know that I am God;"

                                                                                             Psalm 46:10

It is 1:40 a.m. and I am restless. I'm thinking of my upcoming road trip; all the people I will see, some for the last time. There's no telling when I will come their way again. So much has happened in the last few weeks; both nationally and locally. The world is changing. I watched a documentary on the end of the world according to all that will occur in 2012. People are building shelters, stockpiling food and ammunition. All kinds of crazy stuff. The Bible has given us warnings pertaining to the end times. Who will escape? How will we escape? Do we hide? Do we simply lay down and "Take it"? I believe that we should live life one day at a time, as my father used to preach. Worrying about the future only produces ulcers and stress. If you are living the best you know how; loving your neighbor, doing good to your enemies, respecting your elders and loving God with all of your heart, you can be content in knowing that you will see God. I will be on a road trip soon. I will have much time to think and contemplate on my life; my goals. Will I be changed when I return? I believe that I change every day. Bridges are burned and renewed. Love is lost and found. Such is the way of the world.

Have a good day.

Dennis

My Friend Alex

The family and I went to Cincinnati, Ohio to look in on my wife's mother who was at home recuperating from a previous hospital stay. Since it was Memorial Day we decided to get some groceries, once there, and have a cookout. We were there for only a few minutes when my cell phone rang. It was my friend, Alex, from North Carolina. "I apologize for not calling you sooner", he stated, "It's just that I have been somewhat busy. My wife died Friday." My mouth fell open and I knew immediately that I was experiencing shock from the news. I had never met his wife in person but we had spoken on the phone several times when I called to speak to Alex. She seemed to be a loving and sweet woman who loved the Lord greatly. She was a cancer survivor but the sickness had returned. This, in addition to the lupus she had, expedited her demise. Alex was with her until the end. We spoke for a while and I promised to keep in touch. I called my wife out of her mother's room and before I could relay to her the news I was in tears. Outside of your family you gain family. Alex is very much family to me. I will go see him soon.

Make the most of your day.

Dennis

Ron's Father

I was awakened by a call at around 8:00 A.M. Sunday morning. It was Ron's sister, Yvette. "Hi Dennis", she said quietly. "Dad has left us". We spoke for a few minutes and I offered my condolences as only a brother could. We had been through a lot as children and I would stay with them through this ordeal just as I did when their mom passed a few months earlier. I encouraged her and Ron to cling together and to rejoice in the fact that dad was no longer in pain and that he was with mom in glory. I promised to keep in touch. I have another road trip to prepare for.

Love your family.

Have a nice day.

Dennis

Not Mine, But Thine

I received a call from my friend, Ron, in North Carolina this morning. The report concerning his father is not good. His health is rapidly deteriorating and the cancer is causing him extreme mental and physical problems. Ron calls me almost daily to sometimes vent, occasionally cry, and sometimes just to talk tome as a friend and a brother. I am going through my own issues at the moment; and I consider them to be somewhat magnanimous. But I cannot but help to see how pale in comparison my issues are when placed alongside the imminent death of a loved one. I am torn between opinions. Do I focus all my energies on myself; my home, or do I trust God for my situation and go to N.C. to stand by Ron and his sister? The stress they are experiencing is palpable and my fervent advice to them both is to stick together throughout this ordeal. I am getting ready to start my day. Each step I take will be proceeded by prayer. I don't know where I will be within the next hour. I pray that the will of God will be clear to me today.

Love you all.

Dennis

A Call From Alabama

I received a call from Deborah; a friend in Tuscaloosa, this morning. We worked together at the Tuscaloosa Veterans Hospital 3 years ago. We sometimes make it a point to check on one another every now and then; especially after the the recent tornado. She reports that Tuscaloosa has a collective group of people who apparently have developed PTSD since the devastating tornado. Deborah works at the Tuscaloosa Veterans Hospital. They were meeting in a conference with a large window that provided an almost panoramic view of the sky. She recalled how that at one moment during the meeting while she was instructing the group, the sky became black as the weather rapidly began changing. Within a matter of seconds it became apparent to her that everyones gaze was fixated on the blackening sky. She understood the stress in the room and ceased from teaching.

Tuscaloosa has scars that will last for a lifetime.

I continually pray for them all.

Have a good day.

Dennis

Sitting

I'm sitting on my front porch finishing up my weekend. It rained again an hour earlier and I am pleasantly surprised as to how cool and overcast it is right now. It inspired me to write again. Received an early morning text from my friend, Ron. It appears that his ill father, who had been admitted to a hospital late last weekend, is raising quite a ruckus and insists on being released and being "allowed to die at home". Ron doesn't want this but his sister feels obligated. This is a tough one. I think I'll sit this one out for now.

The wife is at work preparing for a seminar she attends beginning Monday. David just rode with me to a gas station and is now inside enjoying his newly purchased bottle of apple juice along with his favorite television shows. Thank God he isn't interested in "Jersey Shore". And as for me...?

I'm sitting on my front porch finishing up my weekend.

Have a great Sunday.

Dennis

Michael Wore A Mask (Part I)

I began to think of Michael Jackson tonight. Perhaps it was because my wife had asked me to put "This is It" in the DVD player before I left the house. Or maybe because my daughter, Denielle, told me that her twin daughters had discovered Michael Jackson videos and were immediately converted, as expected. I have always had a "kinship" with Michael. For years, I recanted how we both derived from a large family; by normal standards in that day. There were seven of me and my siblings, nine of them. Both our families were very talented in the area of music and dance. My brothers, Victor and Vernon, and a couple of transitioning friends of ours formed a singing group and mimicked other singing groups of our time; The Temptations, The Main Ingredient, Blue Magic, and of course, The Jackson Five.

Destiny claimed only one of our families for stardom. For many years I wondered "What if that had been us"?

As I watched Michael's physical transformation in wonder and bewilderment, (along with the rest of the world), I struggled to understand why one would go to such lengths to alter, (what seemed to be), his very persona. As I age I can clearly understand why just a little more. There are dark areas in all of our lives. How many of us have looked into a mirror and said what we would change about our appearance, if we were able? Like Michael, we may abhor a particular parent's physical appearance and realize that we resemble that parent may be painful and depressing. Michael's vast fortune enabled him to alter his physical appearance to the extent that he no longer resembled any member of his family; hardly a member of the human race, some would say. And his face became molded into the semblance of a comedy tragedy mask; providing him a slight smile while all the while his eyes spoke of unbearable pain.

More to follow...

Dennis

The Road Trip

I had a good day today. It began with a good night's sleep. I awoke long after David had been fed and put off to the bus for school. He is an A student. With his autism he spends 60% of the day mainstreamed with an aide, and 40% with the Special Needs Program. It has been awhile since Eddrenna and I had time alone with just the two of us. Eddrenna had on a short-sleeved top with gold emblems across the neck. I got out of my t-shirt and actually put on a dark blue long-sleeved shirt, jeans, and some light-blue Jordan's. We looked pretty sheik. A lot transpired between the morning-late afternoon date but that would be telling you too much, won't it?

Later, I hung out for a minute with my friend Tony. It's always a good time when Tony and I hang. We don't do anything spectacular or extraordinary- We just hang. On the way there and back I listened to some of my prized CDs really loud; so as to be able to hear everything in the music. Had a brief, but sweet, conversation with my daughter, Denielle. That's my baby.

Everything sweet and quiet at home. Thank you, Lord, for a wonderful day.

Love you all.

Dennis

Cessation For A Time

Friday evening was sporadic and one of my best days.

Have a safe weekend.

Dennis

A Word To The Wise

"Just as wrong thinking produces disease in the body, so it also brings about discordant conditions in the realm of commerce (finances). Experience teaches that we need to be protected more from our fears and wrong thoughts, than so-called evil influences external to ourselves. We need not suffer for another man's wrong, for another's greed, dishonesty, avarice (insatiable greed) or selfish ambition. But if we hug to ourselves the fear that we do have to so suffer, take it into our thought, allow it to disturb us, then we sentence (convict) ourselves. We are free to reject every suggestion of discord, and to be governed harmoniously, in spite of what anything or anybody may try to do to us."

-Rev. Robert Collier, The Secret of The Ages

Mondays Thoughts

Hello and good day. It has been awhile since I have had the energy and the will to post. The sayings are true: "In every life some rain must fall", and "When it rains it pours". Aside from the natural rain that has inundated our fair city over the past months, it has been "raining" in so many other areas. Events in our lives happen at an exponentially accelerated rate and before you know it so many significant things have occurred right under our noses. Think about it; who would have guessed we would "witness" the death of Osama Bin Laden, the devastating tornado in Alabama and it's neighboring states, the massive flooding in Memphis and the earthquake and nuclear crisis in Japan, to name a few. As I listen to the local news on my television I learn that a 3 year old boy has just died from a gunshot wound to his head 2 days ago. Downtown someone randomly unloaded a gun into the home of his parents through a window. A 14 year old male was found murdered in a ditch behind a local school and his father is burying him today. Casey Anthony is about to go on trial for allegedly killing her beautiful daughter. My wife's mother was hospitalized Sunday morning with health issues and as we were returning from visiting her in the hospital in Cincinnati I received a call from my friend, Ron, in North Carolina that his father had just been admitted to the hospital for possible pneumonia. As I'm typing this many of you are making your own mental lists of the tragedies, misfortunes, and unexpected events that have occurred in your own life. I believe the Bible when it states that "Our life is just a vapor". We are all subject to being here today and gone tomorrow. When I look at this world and all that we are surrounded with I can see why some people choose a life of seclusion. But this is not the answer. We can meet our demise in the comfort of our homes or in an auto accident, a plane crash, a bullet or any number of situations. So today, let us eat, drink, and be merry. Not in excess, but in the sense of loving life, being mindful as to what a precious gift life is, and always regarding the Love for our fellow man/woman. As I pray for others I also pray for myself that I will never intentionally hurt or harm others and that I will be quick to listen, careful when speaking my words, and slow to anger.

Have a great and safe day.

Dennis

The Need To Continue On

Well, I suppose its official. "America's Got Talent" is going on without me. I learned months ago that there were delays with notifying people who auditioned due to the large showing in each city. I need to be realistic and accept the fact that the selections have been made; especially since the season start is being advertised on television. Oddly, I am not heartbroken. I remained extremely optimistic concerning the audition but the events over the past weeks; the tornado in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and other states resulting in friends who lost family as a result of the carnage, Bin Laden's death, flooding in my own state and nearby counties, and a plethora of other things I can mention- just seem to have let a bit of air out of my little project to amass success, wealth, and fame. (If you could hear how I said that in my mind you would have clearly picked up a tone of slight sarcasm).
I have determined that I will continue to have my dreams. Without dreams, one has basically laid down and surrendered to a life that is ordinary as opposed to extraordinary. And even though I am fraught with challenges and opposition towards obtaining the life style I desire, I will never cease to press towards the mark in my efforts to be all that God has promised I could be. You've heard it before, "When one door closes another opens". This is so true. We cannot possibly know the perfect will of God for our lives but we can test each desire and if it is or is not to be God will answer. The shame comes in never trying anything new, exciting, daring and different.
Today, I write this blog from my bed while my health struggles to get back to its peak. My lower back is wrapped in an electric heating pad. It hurts to walk but I still must get about at certain times. My wife is at work and David is out of school today on holiday. I will trust in God for the strength and the ability to do what I must do. And what I must do is plenty. My mind is already there. I love you all and I pray that you remain positive, loving, and true to yourself; even when it brings you pain.
Dennis

Checking In

This past week has been somewhat of a haze. I have been a bit under the weather but I can slowly feel my strength returning to me. I still have things that must be done outside of the home and I am thankful for the power to be able to be as ambulatory as I have been today. I am home now and resting while my wife prepares dinner. In light of all that has occurred in the world over these past few days, I am so very grateful for so much.
Have a great day.
Dennis