Starting Today

I was up at 4:30 this morning.  I went to bed after 11:00 but sleep escapes me at the moment.  It's raining heavily and if I did not have an obligation this morning I would hop in the Stang and go for a long ride as I listened to my music.  Its the perfect time to think.  My wife has an 8a.m. doctors appointment to read the results of a recent test.  I will respect her privacy and not divulge the reason for the test, but I feel absolutely positive that all is well.  It drains me, at times, trying to remain hopeful for more than myself.  I believe that is the main reason for my sleepless persona.  I anticipate a good report nonetheless. 
God has brought so many past relations back into my life recently.  I have been found by old military friends and childhood acquaintances.  There is a distinct reason behind all of this and I patiently, yet eagerly, await the completion of the puzzle.  I do know that it is time for me to take a road trip before death claims one of us.  I don't mean to sound so morbid, but we never know when our time will come. I am tired of seeing family and friends at gravesides. For once I would like for it to be a joyous occasion.  That is not always an easy thing to do for me; coming from such a large family.  It is difficult; however not impossible, to coordinate a time when we can come together under one roof and laugh, cry, reminisce, and rekindle our love for one another.  I often think of how easy it would be do arrange such gatherings if I had unlimited finances at my disposal.  But until that time comes I will continue to exhort and pray for such times.
My wife's mother, (who is in her 70s ), said she was going to teach me how to dance.  I laughed when she made that remark, but at the same time I was forced to realize how long it had been since I had cut a step.  I used to dance always.  It was uncommon not to see me singing some song and moving to the beat.  I have become so settled in my aging years.  The seriousness of my present life has rendered me pensive, sober, and oftentimes calculating.  I miss my free spirit; the desire to have fun at a drop of a hat.  I used to love a room filled with jovial people who could party until the sun came up.  It is not all my fault that these things have changed.  Sometimes you meet people who are outright selfish; takers who never give back to you.  These kind of people I have learned to throw overboard because they serve no purpose to my happiness.  And isn't life too short to be miserable, angry, and unsatisfied? During the next few weeks I am purposely going to make it a point to regain my personal happiness.  I will stop being so cautious about everything.  I will step out on the dare that is in my heart and I will do extraordinary things.  It matters not who believes along with me for I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.    Soon it will be time to awaken David for school.  I will get refreshed and seize the day.  I feel compelled to extinguish the normalcy and live my life anew starting now; starting today.
Have a great day and be safe in all you do.
I love you all.
Dennis